Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer provides relevant information but lacks clarity and natural phrasing. Try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and be more specific about your role and feelings.

例: I have been working as a nurse for 15 years, and I really enjoy my job. Besides treating patients, I also educate junior nurses, which creates a positive and joyful atmosphere at work. This role helps me to continuously improve my knowledge and skills.

提案: Your answer is brief and somewhat unclear. Respond directly to the question with a clear topic sentence. If you are not a student, state it clearly and briefly explain your current status.

例: I am not currently a student because I have been working as a nurse in a hospital for several years.

提案: Your answer contains useful information but is somewhat disorganised and has grammatical errors. Use linking words to improve coherence and be more specific about what made the place good for studying.

例: My university was a great place to study because the professors were friendly and supportive. We studied many subjects related to health, which helped me understand how different organs in the body are connected and how to treat patients effectively.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but is incomplete and contains grammatical mistakes. Provide a clear topic sentence, use linking words, and complete your thoughts with specific details.

例: When I first studied at the school, the facilities were poor. For example, the restrooms were often unclean, the windows were broken, and the heating system did not work properly, which made the atmosphere gloomy. I believe these issues should be improved to create a better learning environment.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be clearer and more natural. Use correct verb forms and linking words to connect your ideas logically. Be specific about your plans.

例: I have decided to emigrate to a foreign country. Initially, I plan to work as a nurse in a hospital, and afterwards, I intend to pursue further education by obtaining a doctoral degree in London.

× I have to cure patient and treat them.

✓ I have to cure patients and treat them.

The word 'patient' should be plural 'patients' because it refers to more than one individual in this context.

× I sometimes educate nurses and also it produces joyful atmosphere.

✓ I sometimes educate nurses and also it produces a joyful atmosphere.

The phrase 'joyful atmosphere' requires the indefinite article 'a' before it to be grammatically correct.

× I can raise my knowledge when I have to cure them and educate them.

✓ I can increase my knowledge when I have to cure them and educate them.

The phrase 'raise my knowledge' is incorrect; the correct collocation is 'increase my knowledge'.

× I have lots of career plans in my workplace.

✓ I have many career plans in my workplace.

While 'lots of' is informal, 'many' is more appropriate in formal contexts; however, this is a style suggestion rather than a strict grammar error.

× I worked as a nurse in a hospital, so I'm not I'm not a student.

✓ I work as a nurse in a hospital, so I'm not a student.

The present tense 'work' is appropriate here because the speaker is currently employed as a nurse; 'worked' implies past tense which conflicts with the current status.

× During university time, we had lots of subjects, but it produced a joyful atmosphere.

✓ During university time, we had lots of subjects, and it produced a joyful atmosphere.

The conjunction 'but' is incorrectly used here; 'and' is more appropriate to connect two positive statements.

× Our professor to share a really friendly and warmly and we could each other's company and we could learn a lot about health and also how we could cure patient, how different organs in our body connected with each other.

✓ Our professor was really friendly and warm, and we could enjoy each other's company and learn a lot about health, including how we could cure patients and how different organs in our body are connected with each other.

The original sentence has multiple grammatical errors including incorrect prepositions, missing verbs, and singular/plural issues. The correction addresses these by adding the verb 'was', changing 'warmly' to 'warm' (adjective), correcting 'each other's company', pluralizing 'patient' to 'patients', and correcting verb tenses.

× When I first study at the school, we didn't have enough equipment with good quality and restroom.

✓ When I first studied at the school, we didn't have enough good quality equipment and restrooms.

The verb 'study' should be in past tense 'studied' to match the past time frame indicated by 'When I first'. Also, 'restroom' should be plural 'restrooms' to match the context.

× Our restroom weren't clean at all, windows glasses were broken and also the heater always were off so it produced a gloomy atmosphere.

✓ Our restrooms weren't clean at all, window glasses were broken, and also the heater was always off, so it produced a gloomy atmosphere.

'Restroom' should be plural 'restrooms' to agree with plural verb 'weren't'. 'Heater' is singular and should be paired with singular verb 'was'. Also, 'windows glasses' is awkward; 'window glasses' is better.

× I believe that there should be.

✓ I believe that there should be improvements.

The sentence is incomplete; 'there should be' requires an object or complement to complete the meaning.

× I decided to emigrate in foreign country, so at first I like to work as a nurse in the hospital and then I decided to pursue my education and receive my doctoral degree in London.

✓ I have decided to emigrate to a foreign country, so at first I would like to work as a nurse in a hospital, and then I plan to pursue my education and receive my doctoral degree in London.

'Decided' is better in present perfect 'have decided' to indicate recent decision. 'Emigrate in' should be 'emigrate to'. 'Like to work' should be 'would like to work' to express intention politely. 'Hospital' should be preceded by 'a' unless a specific hospital is meant. 'Then I decided' should be 'then I plan' to indicate future intention.