Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽고 명확해야 합니다. 'dessert'는 'dessert(디저트)'와 'desert(사막)'의 발음이 비슷하므로, 여기서는 'dessert'가 맞는지 확인하고, 'start studying English' 대신 'have started studying English'로 시제를 맞추는 것이 좋습니다. 또한, 문장을 간결하게 하여 중복을 피하세요.

例: I used to work, but I quit my job because I want to study desserts in France. Now, I have started studying English to prepare for that.

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고, 문법 오류와 중복이 있습니다. 'Study Cafe'를 소개할 때 더 명확하고 간결하게 표현하세요. 또한, 'concentrate more deeply and more longer to me'는 부적절한 표현이므로 'I can concentrate better and longer there'와 같이 수정하세요.

例: I used to study at school, but now as an adult, I don't have a fixed place. So, I go to a Study Cafe because I can concentrate better and for longer periods there.

提案: 문장이 어색하고 중복이 많습니다. 'perfect fit for me' 대신 'perfect for me'를 사용하고, 'everyone get are doing studies'는 'everyone is studying'으로 수정하세요. 또한, 감정을 표현할 때 'it motivates me to study'와 같이 자연스럽게 표현하세요.

例: Yes, the Study Cafe is perfect for me because everyone there is studying. It motivates me to focus and study harder.

提案: 의미 전달이 어렵고 문법 오류가 많습니다. 'I don't want any changes in my study place because changes distract me'와 같이 명확하고 간결하게 표현하세요. 또한, 이유를 구체적으로 설명하는 것이 좋습니다.

例: No, I don't want any changes in my study place because changes distract me and make it hard to concentrate.

提案: 'get the IELTS test'는 부적절한 표현이며, 'take the IELTS test'가 맞습니다. 또한, 'star test'는 오타로 보이며 'start test'도 의미가 불분명합니다. 문장을 간결하고 정확하게 수정하세요.

例: I plan to take the IELTS test in October because I need to improve my skills. I will study hard until then.

× Well, I was a worker before but I want to go to France to study dessert, so I quit my job and start studying English.

✓ Well, I was a worker before but I wanted to go to France to study dessert, so I quit my job and started studying English.

The verbs 'want' and 'start' should be in the past tense 'wanted' and 'started' to maintain consistency with the past context indicated by 'was' and 'quit'.

× Well, I used to study in school, but I'm now I'm adult so I don't have any place to study.

✓ Well, I used to study in school, but now I'm an adult so I don't have any place to study.

The phrase 'I'm now I'm adult' is incorrect. It should be 'now I'm an adult' to use the correct article 'an' before a vowel sound and remove the repeated 'I'm'.

× So I go to Study Cafe.

✓ So I go to the Study Cafe.

The noun 'Study Cafe' is a specific place, so it requires the definite article 'the' before it.

× Study Cafe is good for me because it can concentrate more deeply and more longer to me.

✓ Study Cafe is good for me because I can concentrate more deeply and for longer there.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'it' as the subject for 'concentrate' which should be 'I'. Also, 'more longer' is incorrect; 'longer' alone suffices. The preposition 'to me' is incorrect; 'there' or 'at the cafe' is appropriate.

× So I think the study coffee.

✓ So I think the Study Cafe is good.

The original sentence is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'is good' clarifies the meaning and corrects the sentence structure.

× Yeah, of course for me the Study Cafe is really perfect fit for me because when I go there everyone get are doing studies.

✓ Yeah, of course for me the Study Cafe is a really perfect fit because when I go there everyone is studying.

The phrase 'everyone get are doing studies' is incorrect. 'Everyone' is singular and should be followed by 'is'. 'Doing studies' is awkward; 'studying' is more natural. Also, 'perfect fit for me' should be 'a perfect fit'.

× So I, I think I have to study right now.

✓ So, I think I have to study right now.

The repeated 'I' is unnecessary and disrupts the flow. Removing the extra 'I' improves clarity.

× So it makes me feel more good.

✓ So it makes me feel better.

'More good' is incorrect; the comparative form 'better' should be used instead.

× No, I don't like some changes my study places, because when this place changes I can concentrate anything because it can be more some.

✓ No, I don't like changes to my study place, because when this place changes I can't concentrate on anything because it can be more distracting.

The phrase 'some changes my study places' is incorrect; it should be 'changes to my study place'. 'I can concentrate anything' is incorrect; it should be 'I can't concentrate on anything'. 'It can be more some' is unclear; 'more distracting' fits the context.

× I have to think about lots of things that I have to care.

✓ I have to think about lots of things that I have to take care of.

The phrase 'have to care' is incomplete; the correct expression is 'take care of'.

× Well, I think I will get the IELTS test in October because I don't have any skill right now.

✓ Well, I think I will take the IELTS test in October because I don't have any skills right now.

The verb 'get' is incorrect when referring to taking a test; 'take' is appropriate. Also, 'skill' should be plural 'skills' to refer generally.

× So I'm gonna study until the October.

✓ So I'm gonna study until October.

The article 'the' before 'October' is unnecessary and incorrect; months do not require 'the'.

× So I'm gonna do star test in October.

✓ So I'm gonna do the star test in October.

The phrase 'star test' likely refers to 'start test' or 'IELTS test'; assuming 'star test' is a specific test, it requires the definite article 'the' before it.