Study— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to use correct verb tenses and avoid redundancy. For example, say "I have been working since January 2024" and avoid repeating similar information. Also, keep your answer concise and clear.

例: I have been working since January 2024 after graduating in December 2023 with a degree in Global Business Management from the economics school.

提案: Your answer is clear but could be improved by adding linking words and more specific details to make it more natural and informative.

例: I studied Global Business Management at Wally University, which is a well-known institution located in the center of Argentina.

提案: Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. For example, instead of "it has it has a very short a very good source of employment," say "it provides excellent employment opportunities."

例: In my opinion, it is one of the best places in Argentina to study business because it provided me with many tools to grow professionally. Additionally, it offers excellent employment opportunities.

提案: Try to avoid hesitation and repetition. Use clear and concise sentences with linking words to improve coherence.

例: To be honest, I believe there is always room for improvement. For example, the university could be more supportive by paying closer attention to students and responding more promptly to their inquiries.

提案: Avoid hesitation and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to express your ideas clearly and fully.

例: I finished my studies in December, so currently I am not planning to start a new degree. However, since I enjoy studying, I might consider pursuing further education in two or three years.

× I finished my studies at December 2024.

✓ I finished my studies in December 2024.

The preposition 'at' is incorrect when referring to months; 'in' should be used instead. This is a common preposition error related to time expressions.

× I studied Global Business Management in Wally, a very well known university in the center of Argentina.

✓ I studied Global Business Management at Wally, a very well-known university in the center of Argentina.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect when referring to studying at a university; 'at' is the correct preposition. Also, 'well known' should be hyphenated as 'well-known' when used as an adjective before a noun.

× a very well known university

✓ a very well-known university

When two or more words act as a single adjective before a noun, they should be hyphenated to avoid confusion.

× It gave me a lot of tools to to grow every day in my professional life.

✓ It gave me a lot of tools to grow every day in my professional life.

The phrase 'to to grow' contains a repeated 'to' which is incorrect. Removing the extra 'to' corrects the sentence.

× Additionally, it has it has a very short a very good source of employment.

✓ Additionally, it has a very good source of employment.

The phrase 'a very short a very good' is incorrect and redundant. The correct phrase is 'a very good source of employment.' Also, the repetition 'it has it has' is an error and should be corrected.

× I think that they can be, they should be more supported, more supportive with students.

✓ I think that they can be, they should be more supportive of students.

The phrase 'more supportive with students' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'supportive of.' Also, 'more supported' is awkward here; 'more supportive' is the better choice.

× Because sometimes when you contacted them, it, it was really difficult to get an answer from them, you know?

✓ Because sometimes when you contact them, it is really difficult to get an answer from them, you know?

The past tense 'contacted' is inconsistent with the present tense context. Using present tense 'contact' fits better. Also, the repeated 'it, it' is an error and should be corrected.

× I finished my studies in December, so for the moment I'm not planning to start a new career.

✓ I finished my studies in December, so for the moment I'm not planning to start a new course of study.

The phrase 'start a new career' is semantically odd when referring to study plans; 'start a new course of study' or 'start a new degree' is more appropriate. However, this is more about word choice than grammar, so this correction is optional.