School— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence and give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct countable/uncountable errors (e.g., “not many people”), and avoid redundancy.

例: My school is in Liking, a quiet suburb of the metropolitan area. Although it's not well known, it is very convenient because several buses and a subway stop nearby.

提案: Reduce hesitations and improve sentence clarity. Begin with a direct statement, then give one clear reason with a linking word. Fix pronoun/reference and sentence structure (e.g., 'when students suggest ideas, she discusses them openly with colleagues').

例: Yes, I like my school because the headmaster is kind and open-minded. For example, when students suggest new ideas, she discusses them with teachers and helps to put the best ideas into practice.

提案: Be concise and use smoother linking words. Start with a clear opinion, then give two specific supporting details with correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., 'access to resources', 'supportive teachers'). Avoid filler words like 'uh'.

例: Yes, it is a good place to study. The school library is quiet and well stocked with books and online resources, and the teachers are supportive, giving extra help to students who want higher grades.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and use precise expressions. Use linking words to connect details (e.g., 'because', 'therefore'). Correct small errors: 'a 5-minute walk', 'I am not disturbed'.

例: The school is in a relatively remote area, so it is quite peaceful. For example, it is only a five-minute walk from the bus stop to the school gate, therefore lessons are usually free from noise and interruptions.

提案: Make a clear, structured answer: state your opinion, then give a specific reason and an example. Correct grammar: 'I believe it is very important', 'interest in their studies', 'affect their grades'. Avoid repetition.

例: I think interest in study is very important because it motivates students to learn more and improves their performance. For instance, a student who enjoys science is more likely to spend extra time studying it, which usually leads to higher grades.

× My school is located in Liking.

✓ My school is located in Liking.

No change needed; sentence is grammatically correct. (Included for completeness.)

× Although it is a part of the metropolitan city, it is recognised as a remote area and there are not much people that know about this place, but it's very convenient to take the public transportation.

✓ Although it is part of the metropolitan city, it is recognised as a remote area and there are not many people who know about this place, but it's very convenient to take public transportation.

'a part' can be simplified to 'part' for natural phrasing; 'not much people' is incorrect because 'people' is countable and requires 'many' (quantifier error). Use 'who' for people rather than 'that' (pronoun usage). 'the public transportation' is unnecessary; use 'public transportation' (article error). Suggestions: use 'many' with countable nouns, use 'who' for people, and omit unnecessary articles before uncountable nouns like 'public transportation'.

× I do like my school.

✓ I like my school.

The original sentence is grammatically correct but 'do' is unnecessary emphatic auxiliary in a simple answer. Suggestion: use the simpler form unless emphasizing contrast or denial.

× We have a very uh, kind and helpful headmaster that is very open minded.

✓ We have a very kind and helpful headmaster who is very open-minded.

'that' is not appropriate for people; use 'who' (pronoun error). 'open minded' should be hyphenated as 'open-minded' when used before a noun or in predicative position for clarity (adjective formatting). Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: use 'who' for people and hyphenate compound adjectives.

× Whenever students suggest the new ideas to her, feel openly uh, discuss with her fellow colleagues and work on the idea.

✓ Whenever students suggest new ideas to her, she feels able to openly discuss them with her colleagues and work on the ideas.

Original sentence has missing subject 'she' for the verbs 'feel' and 'discuss' (sentence structure/subject omission). 'the new ideas' -> 'new ideas' (article/quantifier). 'fellow colleagues' is redundant; 'colleagues' is sufficient. Pronoun reference: 'the idea' should agree in number with 'ideas' so use 'them' or 'the ideas'. Suggestion: ensure each clause has an explicit subject and maintain number agreement.

× Yes, I think it's a good place for me to study.

✓ Yes, I think it's a good place for me to study.

Sentence is correct; included for completeness.

× Uh, we have a school library, uh, in my school and it's very quiet.

✓ We have a school library at my school, and it's very quiet.

'in my school' is acceptable but 'at my school' is more natural for facilities (preposition nuance). Remove fillers 'uh'. Suggestion: use 'at' for locations of facilities.

× There are lots of resources that we can have access and our teachers are very helpful, uh, to help us to get better score.

✓ There are lots of resources that we can access, and our teachers are very helpful in helping us to get better scores.

'have access' is incomplete; correct collocation is 'access' or 'have access to' followed by an object (preposition issue). 'help us to get better score' needs plural 'scores' and smoother phrasing: 'helpful in helping us to get better scores' or 'helpful in improving our scores'. Suggestion: use correct collocations ('access' or 'have access to') and ensure noun plurality and clearer verb phrases.

× So it is a very good place to study.

✓ So it is a very good place to study.

Sentence is correct; included for completeness.

× My school is considered a relatively remote UH.

✓ My school is considered relatively remote.

'a relatively remote' with 'UH' (likely filler) is awkward. Remove 'a' before 'relatively remote' when used predicatively: 'considered relatively remote'. Suggestion: avoid filler tokens and use correct predicative adjective structure.

× It takes a 5 minutes walk from the UH bus station to the front gate of my school, so it's relatively quiet.

✓ It takes a 5-minute walk from the UH bus station to the front gate of my school, so it's relatively quiet.

Use hyphenated compound adjective '5-minute' before a noun (number + unit) and 'a 5 minutes walk' is wrong because 'minutes' should be singular 'minute' in this construction. Suggestion: use 'a 5-minute walk'.

× I will not be disturbed if I am studying and having lessons in my school.

✓ I am not disturbed when I study and have lessons at my school.

Mixing 'will not be disturbed' with present progressive is awkward; habitual situations use simple present ('I am not disturbed' or 'I do not get disturbed'). 'having lessons in my school' -> 'have lessons at my school' is more natural (preposition). Suggestion: use simple present for habitual facts and 'at' for institutions.

× I believe is very important for students to have interest on the elective on their study and I believe that it will directly affect their grade if they do not have the interest and they decided that they want to pursue for something else.

✓ I believe it is very important for students to have an interest in the electives they study, and I believe that it will directly affect their grades if they do not have interest and decide to pursue something else.

Multiple issues: missing dummy 'it' after 'I believe' (sentence structure), 'have interest on' should be 'have an interest in' (preposition and article), 'the elective on their study' is unclear—use 'electives they study' (word choice), 'grade' should be plural 'grades' (singular/plural), 'they decided that they want to pursue for something else' mixes tenses and incorrect 'pursue for' (verb + preposition error); use 'decide to pursue something else' (verb infinitive). Suggestions: include 'it' after reporting verbs, use 'an interest in', maintain consistent tense (present), and use 'decide to pursue' without 'for'.