School— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the sentence grammatically correct and more fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, remove fillers, and correct verb forms. Give one concise supporting detail about the journey.

例: My school is in Damon Jabba, a small village near my hometown. It is about a 15-minute walk from my house, so I walk there every day.

提案: Be direct and use correct grammar when describing reasons. Use one clear reason sentence and one supporting example about the teacher, avoiding repetition and broken phrases.

例: Yes, I love my school because I enjoy learning with my friends and supportive teachers. For example, my teacher Smriti Dhaka always helps me improve my study habits and encourages me to set goals.

提案: Answer directly and avoid unclear phrases. State your opinion, then give one or two specific reasons (facilities, teachers, extracurriculars). Remove hesitations and incorrect words (e.g., 'food' should be 'sports').

例: Yes, I think my school is a good place to study because it has helpful teachers and good facilities. For example, we have a playground where students can play football and volleyball after lessons, which helps us relax and focus on studies.

提案: Improve grammar and linking for coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence describing the overall environment, then use linking words (however, for example) and correct adjectives (lively, awkward → worried/anxious). Keep to two supporting sentences max.

例: The environment at my school is mixed: it is usually friendly and supportive because teachers encourage us. However, it becomes stressful during exam periods, when students often feel anxious and tense.

提案: Use correct collocations and verb forms, and be concise. Give a clear topic sentence about importance, then one specific reason with an example. Replace incorrect words (e.g., 'proves' → 'helps', 'remaining' → 'remember').

例: I think interest in studying is very important because it helps me stay motivated and concentrate better. For example, when I am curious about a topic I spend more time practicing, so I remember the material and perform better in exams.

× My school in Damon Jabba, a small village near my hometown.

✓ My school is in Damon Jabba, a small village near my hometown.

The sentence is missing the verb 'is'. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Add the verb 'is' to form a complete subject-verb predicate. Suggestion: always include the appropriate form of 'be' after 'My school' when stating location.

× It's about, uh, 15 minutes from my house, so I can walk well every day.

✓ It's about 15 minutes from my house, so I can walk there every day.

The phrase 'walk well every day' is incorrect in meaning and word choice. Use 'walk there every day' to indicate commuting by walking. This is a present tense / word choice issue (ID 6). Remove filler 'uh' and replace 'well' with 'there'.

× Yes, I love my school because I really enjoy my school level with my friends, with my teachers.

✓ Yes, I love my school because I really enjoy my time there with my friends and teachers.

The original repeats 'my school' and uses 'level' incorrectly. This is an incorrect use of pronouns/word choice (ID 12). Use 'time there' to refer back to the school and combine 'friends and teachers' with proper conjunction.

× I love some or one teacher which is which name is Smriti Dhaka.

✓ I love one teacher whose name is Smriti Dhaka.

Using 'which' for a person and the awkward phrase 'which is which name is' is incorrect. This is an incorrect use of pronouns and relative clause error (ID 12). Use 'whose' to show possession for a person and 'one teacher' to be specific.

× She always help me how to how to grow up myself, how to grow up my study.

✓ She always helps me learn how to improve myself and how to improve my studies.

Subject-verb agreement and verb form: 'She' requires third person singular 'helps' (ID 2 and 6). Also 'help me how to' is ungrammatical; use 'helps me learn how to...' Replace 'grow up myself' with 'improve myself' and 'grow up my study' with 'improve my studies'.

× Yes, I might be every school is a good place to study or uh, like uh, playing with different types of food like football, volleyball, every types of uh.

✓ Yes, I think every school can be a good place to study, and students can also play different sports like football and volleyball.

The original uses 'might be' and 'playing with different types of food' incorrectly and has poor structure. This falls under modal verb usage and sentence structure (ID 4 and 26). Replace 'might be' with 'think' for opinion, 'can be' for possibility, and correct 'playing with different types of food' to 'play different sports' and 'every types of' to 'different' or 'various'.

× The environment at my school various, sometimes it's feel very friendly and supportive because teachers encourage us, but other times it can be stressful when there are many exams and deadlines.

✓ The environment at my school is varied; sometimes it feels very friendly and supportive because teachers encourage us, but other times it can be stressful when there are many exams and deadlines.

Missing verb 'is' and incorrect forms 'various' (adjective) and 'it's feel' (verb form). This is an adjective/adverb and sentence structure issue (ID 13 and 26). Use 'is varied' or 'varies' and 'it feels' for correct subject-verb agreement.

× For example, during the exam period students are often awkward and anxious, while outside of exam the atmosphere is live.

✓ For example, during exam periods students are often anxious, while outside exam the atmosphere is lively.

'Awkward' is inappropriate to describe students' feelings; 'live' is the wrong form for atmosphere (should be 'lively'). This is sentence structure and word choice issue (ID 26 and 13). Use plural 'exam periods' or 'the exam period' consistently and 'lively' for atmosphere. Remove 'awkward' unless intended.

× How important is interest in study?

✓ How important is interest in studying?

The phrasing 'interest in study' is unnatural; use 'interest in studying' or 'interest in the study'. This is an article/word form issue (ID 22). Use gerund 'studying' after 'interest in'.

× I think interest in study is very important because it proves motivate and make it easier to concentrate and remaining information.

✓ I think interest in studying is very important because it motivates you and makes it easier to concentrate and retain information.

Multiple problems: 'it proves motivate' is incorrect, verb agreement 'make' needs 'makes', and 'remaining information' should be 'retain information'. This is incorrect use of pronouns and verb forms (ID 12 and 6). Use 'interest... motivates you' and 'makes it easier' and 'retain'.

× For example, when I'm curious about a topic, I spend more time practicing and usually perform better in exams.

✓ For example, when I'm curious about a topic, I spend more time studying and usually perform better in exams.

The verb 'practicing' is acceptable but 'studying' is more appropriate in context. This is a present tense/word choice issue (ID 6). Replace 'practicing' with 'studying' to match context.