School— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, correct repetitions and small grammar mistakes, and use clearer linking. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details. Avoid repeating words and check vocabulary (e.g. 'closed' likely meant 'close').

例: My school is in Sariah Room Infinity, which is also where I live, so it takes only about 15 minutes to get there by car. Because it's close, I don't have to commute early, which lets me relax or review notes before class.

提案: Use present/past consistently and correct verb forms. Begin with a clear topic sentence that answers directly, then give a specific example with correct tenses and linking words (‘for example’, ‘because’).

例: Yes, I like my school because it is surrounded by nature, which makes daily life more relaxing. For example, my middle school was next to a forest, so we often explored the area and had adventurous outdoor activities with friends.

提案: Provide clearer sentence structure and correct collocations and grammar (e.g. 'which attracts experienced faculty'). Keep it concise: topic sentence, one specific reason, one supporting detail. Avoid awkward phrasing like 'with attracts experience'.

例: Yes, definitely. It's an excellent place to study because the university is listed in global rankings for research and teaching quality. For example, our business department consistently ranks in the top 200, which attracts experienced faculty and provides strong resources for students.

提案: Organize into a clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details, and correct grammar and connectors. Remove filler words ('uh') and fix sentence fragments. Use linking words like 'also' and 'in addition' correctly.

例: The environment at my school is very supportive and encouraging. For example, my friends often help me with difficult assignments and share useful study tips, and teachers are approachable and provide extra guidance when students need it.

提案: Avoid repetition and filler; give a concise topic sentence and one clear reason with an example. Use precise language and correct articles ('a quiz'). Limit to maximum five sentences and remove hesitations.

例: Interest in study is very important because it motivates students to engage deeply with the material rather than just memorizing facts for an exam. For example, when I'm genuinely interested in a topic, I spend more time researching and practicing, which improves my long-term understanding.

× My school is in Sariah Room Infinity which which also where I live, so it only takes about 15 minutes to get there by car.

✓ My school is in Sariah Room Infinity, which is also where I live, so it only takes about 15 minutes to get there by car.

The sentence is missing the verb 'is' in the relative clause 'which is also where I live' and contains a repeated word 'which'. Add 'is' to form a complete clause and remove the duplicate word. Also add a comma before the non-restrictive relative clause. Suggestion: '..., which is also where I live,...' ensures correct article and clause structure.

× I like that it's closed because I don't have to commute early and can study or relax before class.

✓ I like that it's close because I don't have to commute early and can study or relax before class.

The intended meaning is likely that the school is close to home; the adjective 'closed' (meaning shut) is incorrect. Use 'close' to describe proximity. This fixes agreement between subject and descriptive adjective. Suggestion: choose the correct adjective for intended meaning.

× I always enjoyed my schools because they were surrounded by nature, which made everyday life more relaxing.

✓ I have always enjoyed my schools because they were surrounded by nature, which made everyday life more relaxing.

The speaker likely refers to a continued feeling up to now, so present perfect 'have always enjoyed' is more appropriate than simple past 'always enjoyed'. Use present perfect to link past experience to present. If referring only to past, keep simple past.

× For example, my middle school was next to a forest, so we often explore that area and had adventurous outdoor activities with my friends.

✓ For example, my middle school was next to a forest, so we often explored that area and had adventurous outdoor activities with my friends.

Mixing 'often explore' (present) with past context 'was' and 'had' is inconsistent. Use past tense 'explored' to match the past timeframe. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent within the sentence.

× Yes, definitely. It's an excellent place to study because the university is listed in global rankings for its research and teaching quality.

✓ Yes, definitely. It's an excellent place to study because the university is listed in global rankings for its research and teaching quality.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. Kept for completeness.

× For example, our business departments consistently appear in the top 200 with attracts experience, faculty and good resources for students.

✓ For example, our business departments consistently appear in the top 200 and attract experienced faculty and good resources for students.

Original uses 'with attracts experience' which is ungrammatical. Replace with 'and attract experienced faculty' to use correct verb form 'attract' to agree with plural subject 'departments' and use adjective 'experienced' to modify 'faculty'. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with the subject and use correct adjective forms.

× My friends are very supportive, they often help me with difficult assignments and share useful study tips which I also them.

✓ My friends are very supportive; they often help me with difficult assignments and share useful study tips, which I also share with them.

Run-on sentence needs separation (semicolon or period). 'which I also them' is missing verb and preposition. Add 'share with' to complete the idea. Suggestion: break into two clauses and include necessary verbs and prepositions.

× I also help them uh, this school environment is encouraging to teachers are approachable and provide extra guidance when students need it.

✓ I also help them. The school environment is encouraging; teachers are approachable and provide extra guidance when students need it.

Original is a run-on with unclear connectors and missing punctuation. Split into clear sentences. 'encouraging to teachers are approachable' is ungrammatical; separate ideas and ensure each clause has a subject and verb. Suggestion: remove filler 'uh' in formal speech and use proper punctuation.

× Oh, it's very important and extremely important because it motivates students to engage deeply with material rather than memorize it just for an exam or, or for an quiz or something.

✓ Oh, it's very important because it motivates students to engage deeply with material rather than memorize it just for an exam or a quiz.

Redundant 'very important and extremely important' should be simplified. Remove repeated filler 'or, or' and use correct article 'a quiz' not 'an quiz'. Suggestion: avoid repetition and filler words; choose the correct indefinite article before consonant sounds.