Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변은 간단하고 명확하지만 더 자연스럽고 풍부하게 들리도록 구조를 개선해야 합니다. 첫 문장은 주제 문장으로 유지하되, 두 번째 문장은 연결어를 사용해 이유나 구체적 상황을 덧붙이세요. 또한 'Especially' 대신 'In particular' 또는 'I especially enjoy' 같은 표현을 사용하고, 사진을 찍는 이유(예: 색감, 분위기, 추억)나 빈도(언제/어디서 찍는지)를 한두 문장으로 추가하면 점수가 오릅니다. 문장 수는 3~4문장 정도로 유지하세요.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views; I especially enjoy capturing sunsets because of their vivid colors and the peaceful atmosphere they create. For example, I often take sunset photos at the beach or from a rooftop when the sky turns orange and pink. These moments make unique and memorable pictures.

提案: 답변은 직접적이고 이유를 제시했지만 설명이 약간 단순합니다. 이유를 연결어로 확장하고 구체적인 예시(예: 야경, 건축, 사람들의 활동)를 추가하여 내용을 풍부하게 하세요. 'they look better in captured photos' 대신 구체적 묘사로 대체하면 자연스럽습니다. 문장 수는 2~3문장으로 유지하세요.

例: I prefer urban views because city lights and architecture create striking contrasts at night, which photograph well. For instance, neon signs, lit bridges, and bustling streets produce vibrant images that capture the city's energy.

提案: 답변은 이유를 제시했지만 반복과 어색한 표현이 있습니다('they are they are more new'). 더 자연스럽게 말하려면 중복을 제거하고 연결어로 논리를 정리하세요. 또한 구체적인 예(어떤 새로운 풍경인지, 왜 특별한지)를 한두 문장으로 덧붙이면 설득력이 높아집니다. 문장 수는 3문장 이내로 유지하세요.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer new landscapes and cultural scenes that I don't see at home. For example, I was fascinated by the terraced rice fields in Bali and the colorful streets of Lisbon, which felt unique and memorable compared with familiar local scenery.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views. Especially I like taking pictures of sunsets.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views. Especially, I like taking pictures of sunsets.

'Especially' at the start of a sentence should be followed by a comma to connect it smoothly to the rest of the sentence; this is a punctuation/flow issue within present tense usage. Add a comma after 'Especially' to improve clarity and naturalness. Suggestion: Use 'Especially, I like...' or combine into one sentence: 'I especially like taking pictures of sunsets.'

× I prefer views in urban areas because I like the city lights and they look better in captured photos.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas because I like the city lights and they look better in photos.

The phrase 'captured photos' is redundant; 'photos' is sufficient. Keep present tense consistent. Suggestion: Use 'photos' or 'pictures' to sound natural: 'they look better in photos.'

× I prefer views in other countries only because since I get to see the views in my country every day, when I see new views in other countries, they are they are more new and they feel more special.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I see the views in my country every day, so new views abroad feel more special.

There are several sentence structure problems: redundant words ('only', duplicated 'they are they are'), awkward clause ordering ('because since'), and unnatural phrasing ('more new'). To correct: remove redundancy, choose one causal connector ('because' or 'since'), and use 'new' or 'more special' appropriately. Suggestion: 'I prefer views in other countries because I see my country's views every day, so new views abroad feel more special.'