Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is relevant and coherent, but a few issues reduce the score: slight redundancy (“different scenery” and “natural views”), minor unnatural phrasing, and lack of a concrete example or brief detail about what makes a shot appealing. To improve, keep the response concise (no more than 3–4 sentences), avoid repeating the same idea, and add one specific detail (e.g., time of day, a favorite subject, or camera/phone technique). Use linking words like “because” or “so” to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I often photograph natural scenery, especially around rivers, lakes and parks because the light is beautiful there. For example, I like taking photos at sunrise when the mist over the river creates soft colors. I usually share my best shots on social media to get feedback from friends.

提案: The response communicates your preference clearly and includes specific reasons and an example, which is good. However, there are errors and awkward phrases (e.g., “husband bustle” should be “hustle and bustle”). Sentence structure can be tightened to avoid repetition (e.g., don’t repeat ‘peaceful’ and ‘slower pace’ without linking). Use a linking phrase (“because” or “so”) and correct collocations. Keep it within 3–4 sentences for natural flow.

例: I prefer rural views because they contrast sharply with the city’s hustle and bustle and offer fresh air and quiet. For example, I enjoy walking through open fields and listening to birdsong, which helps me unwind after a busy week.

提案: This answer has content problems and some word-choice errors: you said “music” instead of “views,” and the phrase “represents our culture and future” is unclear. The second sentence gives good specific details but could be linked more clearly to your preference. To improve, correct the key word, state a clear reason why domestic views appeal to you (familiarity, cultural meaning, accessibility), and provide one concise example. Aim for natural collocations and avoid vague nouns like “future.”

例: I prefer views in my own country because I know the places well and they reflect our culture. For instance, I love photographing our local mountains and waterways since their landscapes feel familiar and calming to me.

× I prefer views in rural areas because they are very different from the houses and the husband bustle of city life.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because they are very different from the houses and the constant bustle of city life.

The phrase 'husband bustle' is incorrect; 'husband' is a noun for a married man, not an adjective describing bustle. The intended meaning is likely 'constant bustle' or 'hustle and bustle'. Replace 'husband' with 'constant' or use the idiom 'hustle and bustle'. Improve by choosing appropriate adjectives or set phrases to describe 'bustle'. Grammar problem type ID:13

× I enjoy capturing the natural views because they make me feel relaxed and I can share the best shots on social media.

✓ I enjoy capturing natural views because they make me feel relaxed, and I can share the best shots on social media.

The original sentence uses 'capturing the natural views' which is not wrong, but 'capturing natural views' is more natural and concise. Also adding a comma before 'and' improves sentence flow when connecting two independent clauses. This relates to sentence phrasing and structure rather than a strict tense error; adjust article usage and punctuation for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:26

× The fresh air and peaceful surroundings and the slower pace make me feel relaxed.

✓ The fresh air, peaceful surroundings, and slower pace make me feel relaxed.

The original lists three items but repeats 'and' and lacks commas, making the sentence awkward. Use commas to separate list items and place a single 'and' before the last item. This is an issue of sentence structure and conjunction use in lists; the correction improves readability and grammatical correctness. Grammar problem type ID:16

× For example, I love walking in the fields and listening to bird song.

✓ For example, I love walking in the fields and listening to birdsong.

'Bird song' is usually written as the compound noun 'birdsong' in this context. This is a word-formation/choice issue. Use the standard compound noun to sound natural. Grammar problem type ID:13

× I prefer music in my own country because I'm familiar with it and it represents our culture and future.

✓ I prefer music from my own country because I'm familiar with it and it represents our culture and heritage.

'Prefer music in my own country' is awkward; 'music from my own country' is clearer. Also 'future' is not the usual collocation here—'heritage' or 'culture' fits better. This is a word choice/pronoun issue and adjective use affecting meaning. Grammar problem type ID:12

× Our country has diverse landscapes like waterways, mountains, and lakes, which I find peaceful and uplifting.

✓ Our country has diverse landscapes, such as waterways, mountains, and lakes, which I find peaceful and uplifting.

Using 'like' for examples in formal contexts can be ambiguous; 'such as' is clearer when listing examples. Also adding a comma after 'landscapes' helps clarity. This is a sentence structure and word-choice issue. Grammar problem type ID:26