Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural. Start with a concise topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct word choice, and use one or two supporting details with linking words. Keep it under five sentences.

例: Yes, I do. I find taking photos of different views very relaxing, and it helps me record important moments of my life. For example, when I look back at my photos I can remember where I was and how I felt, which always cheers me up.

提案: Give a clear direct answer and support it with specific reasons and examples. Use correct grammar and linking words to make your point coherent. Avoid vague fragments.

例: I prefer views in urban areas because cities have more variety. For instance, Hong Kong has many tall buildings and vibrant streets, while some European cities offer historic architecture, so there is always something new to photograph.

提案: Answer directly and organize reasons clearly with linking words. Use specific details and correct tense/grammar. Limit to a few concise sentences.

例: I prefer views in other countries because travelling gives me new experiences. Since I usually stay in my home country, I find it a bit boring, so I enjoy visiting abroad to see different landscapes and cultures and take photos to remember them.

× Definitely yes. Taking pictures of files can make me form feel more relaxed and I can record my life and record the view and when I want to look back I can open my photo book and then I can get the review of the views.

✓ Definitely yes. Taking pictures of places makes me feel more relaxed, and I can record my life and the views; when I want to look back, I can open my photo album and review them.

The original uses 'Taking pictures of files' (wrong noun) and 'can make me form feel' (incorrect word order and extra word). Use noun 'places' or 'views' and the correct verb pattern 'make someone + adjective' or simply 'makes me feel'. Also replace 'photo book' with the more natural 'photo album' and simplify repetitive phrases. Use commas and conjunctions to join clauses correctly. Suggested improvements: choose correct nouns (places/views), use 'makes me feel' for emotional states, remove extra words, and use 'review them' for concise reference.

× I prefer in urban areas because the urban areas is more can be more changes like Hong Kong has many high buildings and Europe has.

✓ I prefer urban areas because they have more variety; for example, Hong Kong has many tall buildings compared with many parts of Europe.

Errors: unnecessary preposition 'in' after 'prefer' (prefer + noun), subject-verb disagreement 'the urban areas is', incorrect phrase 'can be more changes', and unclear comparison. Use 'prefer urban areas', plural subject 'they', 'have more variety' or 'more changes', and a clear comparative structure 'compared with'. Suggested improvements: use 'prefer' directly with the noun, ensure subject and verb agree in number, and rephrase vague expressions into clear comparisons.

× I prefer other countries due to the reasons of I always go in, I always stay in my country and I looking for the because it is a bit quite bored.

✓ I prefer other countries because I always stay in my country and find it a bit boring.

Problems: awkward phrase 'due to the reasons of', incorrect verb forms 'I always go in' (unclear) and 'I looking for' (missing auxiliary), and incorrect adjective usage 'quite bored' to describe the speaker. Use 'because' to state reasons, 'always stay' to express habitual present, and 'find it boring' to describe perception. Suggested improvements: use concise causal connectors like 'because', use correct present simple for habits, and use 'find it boring' (active expression) rather than 'am bored' when describing the country.

× So I want to go to another country and watch about their views and learn more and then take some photos of them.

✓ So I want to go to another country to see their sights, learn more, and take photos of them.

Issue: 'watch about their views' is not idiomatic; use 'see' or 'visit' and 'sights' or 'views'. Also, use infinitive 'to see' to express purpose rather than 'and watch about'. Maintain parallel structure in the list of actions ('see, learn, and take'). Suggested improvements: use correct verbs for visiting/observing ('see', 'visit') and keep verbs parallel and concise.