Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use precise vocabulary. Mention one or two specific locations or reasons, connect ideas with a linking phrase, and keep the answer within 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often take pictures of the River Valley and the mountains near the bridge in Edmonton because the light there is beautiful in the evening. I usually use my phone to share the best shots on Instagram and Snapchat.

提案: Begin with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give a specific reason and an illustrative example using linking words. Correct grammatical errors and avoid filler words like 'UMM' and vague phrases such as 'not kind of too much peaceful.' Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because they are peaceful and natural. For example, I enjoy driving at sunset while watching the mountains and listening to birds, which helps me relax. In contrast, urban areas with tall buildings tend to be noisy and crowded.

提案: Give a clearer, structured answer: state your overall view, then compare with specific reasons and examples. Avoid vague phrases like 'depends upon the taste' and repetitions. Use linking words (for example, however) and correct grammar (e.g., 'capture those moments'). Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: I enjoy views both in my country and abroad, but for different reasons. In India, I especially like photographing historic temples and buildings because of their intricate architecture, while in other countries I appreciate modern landmarks and different landscapes. Therefore, I try to capture cultural details at home and new scenery when I travel.

× Well yes I do like taking pictures of different view like the Mountain View Riverview in Edmonton over the bridge.

✓ Well yes, I do like taking pictures of different views, like the Mountain View Riverview in Edmonton over the bridge.

The noun 'view' should be plural 'views' to match 'different' and 'pictures of'. Use commas for clarity. Suggestion: match plural nouns with words like 'different' and 'many'.

× I often take my phone camera and click a picture because I love to put a snap on the Snapchat and stories on the Instagram.

✓ I often take my phone and click a picture because I love to put a snap on Snapchat and stories on Instagram.

Unnecessary repetition 'phone camera' is awkward; 'take my phone' is natural. 'Snapchat' and 'Instagram' do not need definite articles. Maintain parallel structure and use platform names without 'the'.

× Honestly, I prefer the rural areas because they are quite peaceful.

✓ Honestly, I prefer rural areas because they are quite peaceful.

Article 'the' is unnecessary when speaking generally about categories. Use 'rural areas' for general preference. Keep present tense consistent.

× For example, I love to enjoy driving in the sunset UMM by looking the views of the mountain and listening to the birds.

✓ For example, I enjoy driving at sunset, looking at mountain views and listening to the birds.

'Love to enjoy' is redundant; use 'enjoy'. 'Driving in the sunset' should be 'driving at sunset'. 'Looking the views' needs preposition 'at'. Removed filler 'UMM'. Reorder for natural English.

× In contrast, urban areas have tall buildings and they're not kind of too much peaceful and.

✓ In contrast, urban areas have tall buildings and they're not very peaceful.

Phrase 'not kind of too much peaceful' is ungrammatical. Use 'not very peaceful' or 'much less peaceful'. Remove trailing 'and'.

× Well, it depends upon the taste.

✓ Well, it depends on taste.

'Depends on' is the correct prepositional phrase; 'upon' is formal but acceptable; 'depends on taste' is more natural. Also 'the taste' suggests a specific taste; omit 'the' for general meaning.

× Like I love to see the historical buildings, historical temples.

✓ I love to see historical buildings and historical temples.

Parallel items should be joined with 'and' not a comma before 'historical temples'. Also remove 'Like' at sentence start if unnecessary.

× So in our country, India, there are lots of historical temples in different cities.

✓ In our country, India, there are many historical temples in different cities.

'Lots of' is informal; 'many' is preferred in spoken/written exam contexts. Sentence is otherwise correct. Commas around 'India' for apposition are correct.

× So I love to capture that moments.

✓ So I love to capture those moments.

'That' should be plural demonstrative 'those' to match plural 'moments'. Also 'love to capture' is acceptable; alternative 'love capturing' is also correct.

× And in other countries I also prefer.

✓ I also prefer them in other countries.

Original sentence lacks a clear object; 'prefer' needs an object (what is preferred). Use 'them' to refer to the views or historical sites mentioned, or restate: 'I also prefer views in other countries.'