Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer clearer and more natural by using a topic sentence, correcting grammar, avoiding repetition, and adding one or two specific supporting details. Keep it concise (no more than 4–5 sentences) and use linking words like because or so to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because they help me remember special moments. For example, when I travel I photograph sunsets and cityscapes, so later I can recall the feelings I had. I also organize my photos into albums to revisit those memories.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, then give specific supporting details and use linking words to connect points. Fix small grammar issues (e.g., “I’m a nature person” → “I’m a nature lover”) and avoid repeating the word nature. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because I love being surrounded by nature. For instance, I enjoy watching birds and wildflowers on country walks, and I appreciate the quiet and fresh air. As a result, I feel more relaxed and refreshed in rural settings.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and then add a specific reason and an example. Replace vague phrases (e.g., “different views between two countries”) with clearer comparisons. Use linking words like because and for example to make your answer coherent and concise.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering new landscapes and cultures. For example, visiting coastal towns abroad lets me compare their architecture and food with what I know at home, which satisfies my sense of adventure.

× Yes, of course, I like talk taking picture of different views because when I get home I can look at the photos and remember those motion moments, that feelings I had and the scenarios for example I often photograph.

✓ Yes, of course, I like taking pictures of different views because when I get home I can look at the photos and remember those moving moments, the feelings I had and the scenarios I often photograph.

Errors: incorrect verb form 'talk taking' should be 'taking' (verb + -ing) and 'picture' should be plural 'pictures' to match context. 'Motion moments' is unnatural; 'moving moments' or 'memorable moments' is correct. 'That feelings' is wrong; 'the feelings' matches the plural noun. Also remove redundant phrase order 'for example I often photograph' and change to 'the scenarios I often photograph' for clarity. Suggestion: use gerund 'taking' after 'like', pluralize countable nouns, and use natural adjective 'moving' or 'memorable'.

× I prefer views in rural areas instead of urban areas because I love nature. I'm nature person. I like to see the different wildlife in the nature and I can breathe the fresh air.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas rather than urban areas because I love nature. I'm a nature person. I like to see the different wildlife in nature and I can breathe the fresh air.

Errors: 'instead of' is acceptable but 'rather than' is more natural here; this is stylistic. 'I'm nature person' lacks an article; use 'a nature person'. 'the different wildlife in the nature' uses unnecessary definite article 'the' before 'nature' and is awkward; say 'wildlife in nature' or 'the wildlife'. Use consistent article usage. Suggestions: include indefinite article before 'nature person', avoid 'the' with uncountable nouns like 'nature' unless specific.

× Well, I prefer views in other countries instead of my own country because I think I like adventure. I want to see the different views between two countries.

✓ Well, I prefer views in other countries rather than in my own country because I think I like adventure. I want to see the different views between the two countries.

Errors: 'instead of' can be replaced by 'rather than' for naturalness. Missing preposition 'in' before 'my own country' helps clarity. 'I think I like adventure' is acceptable but could be 'I think I enjoy adventure' (verb choice). 'the different views between two countries' needs the definite article 'the' before 'two countries' to refer to specific comparison. Also 'between the two countries' clarifies comparison. Suggestions: include necessary prepositions and definite articles when comparing two specific entities and consider more natural verb choices like 'enjoy'.