Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and fix tense/number errors (e.g., 'countries' not 'country'). Use linking words like 'for example' properly at the end of a supporting clause.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, my family and I travel frequently to both my home country and other countries, and I like capturing landscapes and cityscapes that show local culture.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first, then add one specific reason with a linking word. Correct grammar (use 'travel' not 'travels', avoid repetitive phrases). Limit to two or three sentences and include a specific example to support your preference.

例: I prefer rural views because they are quieter and offer natural scenery. For example, we often visit Bikal in my home country, where I can photograph hills and traditional villages.

提案: Avoid irrelevant or negative political comments. State your preference clearly, give a respectful reason with specific details, and remove hesitations like 'uh'. Use linking words (e.g., 'because', 'for example') to connect ideas. Keep it to two sentences maximum.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy modern urban landscapes. For example, I loved photographing Chongqing’s futuristic skyline and riverfront, which look very different from scenes in my hometown.

× We travel in different country and in my home country for example.

✓ We travel to different countries and to my home country, for example.

The noun 'country' should be plural ('countries') because 'different' implies more than one. Also use the preposition 'to' with 'travel' when indicating destinations. Adding commas improves clarity.

× My family and I mostly travels in the rural areas like Bikal in my home country, but I also prefer views in urban areas.

✓ My family and I mostly travel to rural areas like Bikal in my home country, but I also prefer views in urban areas.

With the compound subject 'My family and I' the verb must be plural: use 'travel' not 'travels'. Use 'to' after 'travel' for destinations and 'rural areas' does not need 'the' unless referring to specific areas.

× But we tend to go to rural areas that's why I prefer more views.

✓ We tend to go to rural areas, which is why I prefer those views more.

The original is a run-on; 'that's why' should be connected properly. Use a relative clause 'which is why' and clarify 'those views' to refer back to rural views; place 'more' after the object for natural word order.

× I prefer views in other countries such as China because I love their cyber tech uh, city like the Chongqing and while our country remains at corruption and I can see the beauty of it.

✓ I prefer views in other countries such as China because I love its cyber tech and cities like Chongqing, whereas our country still struggles with corruption, so I cannot fully appreciate its beauty.

Multiple problems: 'their' should match 'China' (use 'its'); 'cyber tech' is informal—'cyber technology' or 'high-tech' and 'city like the Chongqing' should be 'cities like Chongqing'. 'While' used to contrast needs restructuring; 'remains at corruption' is incorrect—use 'still struggles with corruption'. The sentence was long and unclear, so split and reorder for clarity and correct tense/use.