Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler, and add one brief supporting detail using a linking word. Pronunciation errors and repeated words should be avoided. Aim for 2–3 sentences, e.g. state you enjoy photographing views and give one reason or context.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views, especially when I travel. For example, on vacations I always bring my camera to capture landscapes and street scenes.

提案: Improve clarity and vocabulary choice. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give specific supporting details using linking words (for example, because/so). Avoid awkward phrases like "the taste of the view"; instead describe what you like about rural scenery (quiet, nature, open space). Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because I grew up in the countryside, so I feel comfortable and nostalgic there. For instance, I enjoy wide open fields and quiet trails, which are more relaxing than busy city streets.

提案: Clarify your position and fix grammatical mistakes. Start with a clear sentence stating your preference, then give a specific reason with a linking word. Avoid incomplete sentences and unclear phrases like "Archer views" and "I have this feeling that I don't know the country." If you mean you prefer domestic views due to familiarity, state that and give an example. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country, Japan, because I feel a strong connection to familiar places. For example, visiting local shrines and coastal towns reminds me of my childhood and offers cultural details I appreciate.

× Rather I rather like rural rural.

✓ I rather like rural areas.

The original repeats 'rather' and 'rural' and omits the noun 'areas'. This is a sentence structure/word choice error. Use a single 'rather' and include the noun 'areas' to clarify meaning: 'I rather like rural areas.' Also consider 'I quite like rural areas' for natural phrasing.

× This is because I was born and raised in the countryside so I naturally like the taste of the view and also I like traveling to rural areas.

✓ This is because I was born and raised in the countryside, so I naturally like the look of the scenery and I also enjoy traveling to rural areas.

The sentence mixes idiomatic expressions: 'like the taste of the view' is incorrect in English. Use 'like the look of the scenery' or 'like the view'. Also add a comma before 'so' when joining two independent clauses and prefer 'enjoy' for 'like traveling' for smoother style.

× Archer views in my own country, which is Japan.

✓ I prefer views in my own country, Japan.

The original begins with 'Archer' which appears to be a typo or incorrect word choice and uses an awkward relative clause. Correct by stating the subject 'I prefer views in my own country, Japan.' which is concise and grammatically correct.

× This is because I was born and raised in Japan and.

✓ This is because I was born and raised in Japan.

The sentence ends with a dangling conjunction 'and.' Remove 'and' because the clause is complete. Ensure each sentence contains a complete thought and does not end with an unfinished connector.

× I also have this feeling that I don't know the country.

✓ I also have the feeling that I do not know other countries well.

The original 'I don't know the country' is unclear and probably intends to say the student is less familiar with other countries. Rephrase to 'I do not know other countries well' for clarity and correctness. Use 'do not' instead of contraction in formal responses if preferred.