Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 반복이 많습니다. 주제문으로 바로 대답한 뒤 이유를 한두 문장으로 명확하게 설명하세요. 문법(단수/복수, 시제)과 관사(a/the) 사용을 고치고, 불필요한 반복을 제거하세요. 연결어(for example, because, so)를 사용해 문장을 더 논리적으로 만드세요.

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing different views because it makes me feel relaxed and happy. For example, I often take a few photos when I walk in the park to capture interesting perspectives and colors.

提案: 응답이 의미 전달에 어려움이 있고 문법과 어휘 선택이 부정확합니다. ‘I prefer urban views’처럼 명확한 주제문을 쓰고, 이유를 구체적으로 하나 또는 두 개로 제한해 설명하세요. ‘tall buildings’, ‘busy streets’ 같은 정확한 어휘를 사용하고, 문장 연결사(because, so, and)를 적절히 쓰세요.

例: I prefer views in urban areas because I like the sight of tall buildings and busy streets. For instance, I enjoy photographing skyscrapers and city lights, which you don't usually find in rural areas.

提案: 중복 표현(Yes, I prefer I prefer)과 문법 오류가 있습니다. 먼저 간단히 선호를 밝히고, 구체적인 이유와 빈도(once a week)를 자연스럽게 연결하세요. ‘many beautiful views’, ‘I usually take a few photos’처럼 복수형과 관사를 정확히 사용하세요.

例: I prefer views in my own country because there are many beautiful landscapes and landmarks. For example, I usually take a few photos once a week when I visit scenic spots near my city.

× I like taking picture of different view.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views.

The nouns 'picture' and 'view' should be plural to match the general sense of taking multiple photos of various scenes. Use plural forms when referring to more than one item or to things in general (countable nouns). Suggestion: use 'pictures' and 'views' when you mean more than one.

× This is because this makes me feel happy when I taking few picture when I take picture of.

✓ This is because it makes me feel happy when I take a few pictures.

The structure 'when I taking' is incorrect; after 'when' we need a subject and a finite verb in correct tense: 'when I take'. Also 'few picture' should be 'a few pictures' (plural and with article). Remove the redundant clause 'when I take picture of'. Suggestion: use 'when I take a few pictures'.

× I prefer view urban area.

✓ I prefer views in urban areas.

'View' should be plural ('views') and 'urban area' should be pluralized to 'urban areas' to indicate the general preference. Also include the preposition 'in' to connect the noun phrases. Suggestion: say 'I prefer views in urban areas.'

× This is because I like to high speed high building so higher building.

✓ This is because I like tall, modern buildings with a fast-paced atmosphere.

The original sentence uses 'to high speed high building' which mixes adjective and noun forms incorrectly. 'High' should be 'tall' when describing buildings, and 'high speed' is not directly applicable to buildings; instead describe the atmosphere as 'fast-paced' or 'bustling'. Also 'higher building' is redundant. Suggestion: use appropriate adjectives and noun phrases: 'tall, modern buildings' and 'fast-paced atmosphere.'

× So in rural a area they're not built.

✓ So in rural areas they are not built.

The phrase 'rural a area' is ungrammatical; 'area' should be plural 'areas' and 'a' must be removed. Use 'they are not built' or better 'there are not many tall buildings' to clarify what 'they' refers to. Suggestion: say 'So in rural areas there are not many tall buildings.'

× Yes, I prefer I prefer view in my country.

✓ Yes, I prefer views in my country.

Repeat 'I prefer' is redundant and 'view' should be plural ('views') when speaking generally. Remove duplication and pluralize the noun. Suggestion: 'Yes, I prefer views in my country.'

× This is because in my country there are many beautiful view so I usually take few photo once a week.

✓ This is because in my country there are many beautiful views, so I usually take a few photos once a week.

'View' should be plural 'views' and 'few photo' should be 'a few photos' (plural and include article). Also add a comma before the coordinating 'so'. Suggestion: use plural nouns for general counts and include 'a' with 'few' when meaning some.