Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Bạn nên loại bỏ những tiếng ỳ ạch (um, uh) và lặp từ, trả lời ngắn gọn rõ ràng hơn với một câu chủ đề rồi thêm một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể. Sử dụng từ vựng chính xác (ví dụ: "likes" thay vì "lies") và mô tả mục đích rõ ràng (ví dụ: để chia sẻ kĩ năng hoặc kỷ niệm). Giữ độ dài không quá 5 câu.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because it improves my photography skills and helps me capture memorable moments. For example, I often practise framing and lighting when I visit parks or city streets, then I share the best shots on social media to get feedback from friends.

提案: Cần tránh nhận xét mang tính chối bỏ hoặc tổng quát quá mức (ví dụ gọi nông thôn "boring"), gộp ý rõ ràng: đưa ra câu chủ đề biểu đạt sở thích, rồi giải thích cụ thể lý do kèm ví dụ. Tránh lặp từ, sửa phát âm/sai từ ("lies" → "lights"). Giữ mạch câu mạch lạc bằng liên từ hợp lý.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the energy and architecture of cities. For instance, tall buildings, busy streets and colourful lights create interesting subjects for photos and provide many opportunities to practise composition.

提案: Trả lời nên trực tiếp và súc tích: nêu quan điểm chính, lý do cụ thể và kết luận ngắn. Tránh lặp từ và tiếng ậm ự (uh), dùng từ đúng ngữ pháp ("to be successful"). Nên đưa ví dụ cụ thể về loại cảnh quan thể hiện phát triển (ví dụ: cầu hiện đại, trung tâm tài chính).

例: I don't mind whether the views are in my country or abroad; I prefer places that show a country's development because they inspire me. For example, modern bridges, business districts and well-designed public spaces make me feel motivated to work hard and improve my skills.

× Yes I do because, uh, it helps me to enhance my, uh, photographic skills, photograph skills, umm, and then I can, uh, post these pictures on my social media to receive some lies or comments from my friends.

✓ Yes, I do because it helps me enhance my photographic skills, and then I can post these pictures on my social media to receive likes or comments from my friends.

The phrase 'to enhance' is correct as a bare infinitive after 'helps me' but the original has redundancy and word choice errors. Also 'lies' is a misspelling of 'likes'. Remove filler words and duplicate 'photograph skills'. Suggestion: say 'helps me enhance my photographic skills' and use 'likes'. Grammar problem type ID:8

× I will choose urban areas to me uh, rural areas views are really boring which is uh fields and rivers uh.

✓ I would choose urban areas because, to me, rural views are really boring; they are mainly fields and rivers.

The student used 'I will choose' which sounds like a simple future but this preference is better expressed with 'I would choose' or 'I prefer'. Also sentence structure is run-on and lacks pronoun reference for 'they'. Improve by using 'because' and a semicolon or conjunction, and replace vague 'which is' with 'they are'. Grammar problem type ID:7

× Meanwhile I I love the tall buildings, the skyscrapers and colourful lies in city which give me multi.

✓ Meanwhile, I love the tall buildings and skyscrapers and the colourful lights in the city, which give me variety.

'colourful lies' is a wrong word choice for 'lights'. 'in city' needs the definite article 'the city'. 'which give me multi' is ungrammatical; likely meant 'give me a sense of variety' or 'variety'. Correct adjectives and nouns and add articles. Grammar problem type ID:13

× Uh, I love beautiful views, uh, regardless of my country or other countries, I love the views, uh, that show the development of a country, which give me motivation to, uh, try harder in this life to achieve my goal to be success.

✓ I love beautiful views regardless of whether they are in my country or other countries. I like views that show a country's development, which give me motivation to try harder in life to achieve my goal of being successful.

'regardless of my country or other countries' should be 'regardless of whether they are in my country or other countries'. 'which give me motivation to, uh, try harder in this life' is wordy; better 'which give me motivation to try harder in life'. 'to be success' is incorrect; use 'to be successful' or 'of being successful'. Also add appropriate articles and restructure into two sentences for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:11