Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar: use nouns correctly and fix word order (e.g., “it gives me a sense of calm” rather than “gives me the calmness”).

例: Yes, I love photographing different views because it makes me feel calm. For example, when I take a picture of a sunset at the beach, I can look back at it later and remember the peaceful moment.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and examples. Reduce hesitations and repetition. Use correct vocabulary for animals and spelling, and connect ideas with linking words (e.g., “because,” “for example”).

例: I prefer rural views because they are quieter and full of nature. For example, I enjoy seeing wide green fields and farm animals like carabaos, and these peaceful scenes help me relax.

提案: Answer directly with a clear preference. Avoid unclear or incorrect references (“Morocco” seems misplaced). Use linking words to explain reasons and give a specific example of a place in your country with correct names. Keep to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: I prefer views in my own country because the Philippines has beautiful natural scenery. For example, places like Siargao and Batanes offer wide blue horizons and lush green landscapes that I find stunning.

× Yes, I do love taking pictures of different views.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of different views.

The auxiliary 'do' is unnecessary when using 'love' in a positive statement; use the simple present 'I love' for habitual actions. Remove 'do' to sound natural. (Grammar problem type ID: 8)

× It gives me the calmness whenever I'm taking the picture of it and also since I was able to um get a picture of it I whenever I feel like and whenever I am looking.

✓ It calms me whenever I take pictures of it, and since I was able to get a picture, I can look at it whenever I feel like it.

Original sentence is run-on and uses awkward phrasing. Use simple present 'calms' for habitual effect and simple present 'I take pictures' instead of 'I'm taking'. Remove filler 'um' and correct word order. Use 'can look at it whenever I feel like it' for clarity. (Grammar problem type ID: 26)

× Well, I do prefer, uh, the view from rural areas, maybe because it's more peaceful when when I look at it.

✓ Well, I prefer views from rural areas, maybe because they are more peaceful when I look at them.

Remove filler 'uh' and duplicate 'when'. 'View' should be plural 'views' to match 'rural areas', so use plural pronoun 'they' and plural verb 'are'. Also use simple present 'prefer'. (Grammar problem type ID: 26)

× And also I would appreciate the green areas, umm, some different animals that I could see like for instance, some carabaost with.

✓ I also appreciate the green areas and different animals I can see, for instance, some carabaos.

'Carabaost' is misspelled; correct plural is 'carabaos' (or 'carabaos'/'water buffaloes' depending on variety). Remove filler 'umm' and adjust tense to 'can see' for ability. Use parallel structure: 'appreciate the green areas and different animals'. (Grammar problem type ID: 11)

× I haven't gone to any country yet, but I think Philippines has a great, umm, nature.

✓ I haven't been to any country yet, but I think the Philippines has great nature.

Use 'been to' for visiting countries (present perfect). Add the definite article 'the' before 'Philippines'. Remove filler 'umm' and use 'great nature' or 'great natural scenery'. (Grammar problem type ID: 5)

× So there are a lot of green spaces here, a lot of blue horizon.

✓ There are a lot of green spaces here and many blue horizons.

Make parallel structure and pluralize 'horizon' to 'horizons' or better 'blue skies'/'sea horizons'. 'Many' fits countable plural; 'a lot of' can be used but keep consistency. (Grammar problem type ID: 14)

× So for example, there is what we call Morocco here, which is a famous tourist spot and I I think it's.

✓ For example, we have a place called 'Morocco' here, which is a famous tourist spot, I think.

Fix repetition 'I I' and restructure to natural English: 'we have a place called...' Use commas correctly and end the sentence. Include article 'a' before 'famous tourist spot'. (Grammar problem type ID: 26)