Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장 구조와 어휘 선택을 개선하세요. 질문에는 직접적으로 'Yes'로 시작한 것은 좋지만, 이어지는 문장에서 문법 오류(예: 'photograph thing')와 불완전한 표현('cityscape of sunset')이 있습니다. 간결한 주제 문장 후 구체적인 예시와 연결어를 사용해 문장을 정리하세요. 또한 시제와 명사 사용을 정확히 하고, 최대 5문장 내로 답변을 유지하세요.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photographs of different views. For example, I often photograph architectural details and natural scenery. When I travel, I especially like capturing cityscapes at sunset because the warm light makes the buildings look dramatic. I usually focus on composition and lighting to create interesting images.

提案: 명확하고 완성된 문장으로 대답하세요. 답변이 중간에 끊기고 많은 말더듬과 비문(예: 'ruder areas', 'I love come place')이 있습니다. 우선 주제 문장을 분명히 말하고, 이유를 하나 또는 두 개의 구체적인 근거로 뒷받침하세요. 연결어(예: 'because', 'for example', 'so')를 적절히 사용하고 불필요한 중복을 피하세요.

例: I prefer rural areas because they are quieter and more peaceful than cities. For example, I enjoy the open space and natural scenery, which help me relax. Also, rural places often have unique local charm and fewer crowds, so I can take better photos.

提案: 논리적으로 완성된 이유를 제시하세요. 말이 자주 끊기고 중복이 많아 의도가 분명하지 않습니다('I prefer watch'). 먼저 명확한 주제 문장을 말한 뒤, 'because'로 이유를 구체적으로 설명하고, 예시나 결과를 덧붙이면 좋습니다. 또한 불필요한 반복을 제거하고 문장을 유창하게 만들기 위해 연습하세요.

例: I prefer seeing views in other countries because traveling exposes me to different cultures and landscapes. For instance, visiting a foreign city allows me to experience new architectural styles and local traditions. This helps me break from my daily routine and gain fresh inspiration for my photography.

× Yes, I love photograph thing, architecture and scenery.

✓ Yes, I love photography, architecture, and scenery.

The noun 'photograph thing' is incorrect; the correct noun for the activity or interest is 'photography'. Also add commas for list clarity. Use 'photography' (uncountable) rather than 'photograph' (a single picture) to match context.'

× Especially when I travel I take photos at cityscape of sunset.

✓ Especially when I travel, I take photos of cityscapes at sunset.

Use 'of' to show what the photos are of: 'photos of cityscapes'. 'Cityscape' should be plural 'cityscapes' to match general habit. Place 'at sunset' after the object. Add a comma after the introductory clause.'

× I prefer ruder areas.

✓ I prefer rural areas.

The word 'ruder' is comparative of 'rude' and is incorrect here. The intended adjective is 'rural' (relating to the countryside). Use 'rural areas' to contrast with urban areas.'

× Umm, because it, it will uh. Uh, I love come place and atmosphere. So if I.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I love the places and atmosphere there.

Original sentences are incomplete and ungrammatical. Combine ideas into one complete sentence: 'because I love the places and atmosphere there.' Use 'places' (plural) and include the definite article 'the' before 'places and atmosphere'. Remove filler sounds. Ensure sentence is complete.'

× I prefer watch, I mean, I prefer to see the other countries because I.

✓ I prefer to visit other countries because I...

Use 'visit' rather than 'watch' or 'see' when talking about going to countries. 'Prefer to visit other countries' is the correct verb phrase. Original sentence is also incomplete; finish thought appropriately. Use 'other countries' without 'the'.'

× I would like to challenge everyday life, so I I, I do like to.

✓ I would like a change from everyday life, so I enjoy traveling to new places.

'Challenge everyday life' is awkward; 'a change from everyday life' or 'to break from everyday routine' is clearer. Remove repeated fillers and complete the sentence. Use 'enjoy traveling to new places' to express the intended idea.