Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 全体的に内容は伝わりますが、以下を改善してください：1) 繰り返し（"I like I like"）を避ける。2) トピック文を明確にしてから具体例を続ける。3) 文の構造を簡潔にして論理的なつながり（linking words）を使う。4) “unique and colorful shapes” の代わりにもう少し具体的な語彙（例：hues, silhouettes, gradients）を使うと効果的です。発話は3文以内でまとめましょう。

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photographs, especially of the sky. For example, when I walk in the evening I often photograph sunsets because their gradients of orange and purple and the silhouettes of clouds make each scene unique.

提案: 改善点：1) 主節で明確に好みを述べる（例：I prefer rural areas.）。2) 理由は具体的にし、冗長な語句（"and so on"）を避ける。3) 不要な文末の質問（"Where's the views of the?"）は混乱を招くので削除する。4) 接続詞（because, also, for example）を適切に使い、文は2〜3文に収める。

例: I prefer views in rural areas because they have more greenery and wildlife, which helps me relax. For example, I enjoy seeing different kinds of trees and flowers and occasionally spotting birds or deer.

提案: 改善点：1) 理由をより具体的に述べる（何が“exciting”なのか）。2) 比較を明確にする（日本と他国の具体的な違いを挙げる）。3) 同じ意味の語句の繰り返しを避け、語彙を広げる。文は2文以内にまとめると良いです。

例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering unfamiliar landscapes and cultural scenes. For example, foreign cities often have different architectural styles and street life that feel refreshing compared to those in Japan.

× Yes, I like I like photographing, especially of the sky.

✓ Yes, I like photographing, especially the sky.

The original sentence repeats 'I like' which is redundant and creates a sentence structure error (Grammar problem type ID 26). Remove the duplicate phrase and simplify the object: 'photographing the sky' is more natural than 'photographing, especially of the sky'. Suggestion: avoid repeating verbs and use direct object phrases.

× For example, I often take pictures of the sunsets when I walk in the evening, which creates unique and colorful shapes.

✓ For example, I often take pictures of sunsets when I walk in the evening, which create unique and colorful shapes.

Using 'the sunsets' implies specific sunsets; general habitual actions use the plural without 'the' (Grammar problem type ID 22). Also 'which' refers to 'pictures' (plural), so verb should be 'create' not 'creates' (subject-verb agreement, ID 27). Suggestion: remove 'the' for general statements and ensure verb agrees with its plural antecedent.

× I prefer views in rural areas because it has more green, which makes me feel comfortable, and it has more unique views than urban areas.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because they have more greenery, which makes me feel comfortable, and they offer more unique scenery than urban areas.

The pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to 'rural areas' (plural), causing pronoun misuse and subject-verb disagreement (Grammar problem types 12 and 27). 'Green' as a noun is awkward; use 'greenery'. Also 'more unique views' is acceptable but 'more unique' can be redundant; 'more unique scenery' or 'more varied scenery' is clearer. Suggestion: match pronouns to plural subjects and choose appropriate nouns for natural phrasing.

× Where's the views of the?

✓ Where are the views?

The original is an ungrammatical fragment with incorrect contraction and word order (Grammar problem type ID 26). 'Views' is plural, so use 'Where are the views?' or better 'What are the views like?' depending on intended meaning. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb order and number agreement in questions.

× I prefer views in other countries because it's exciting to see something unfamiliar.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because it's exciting to see unfamiliar things.

'Something unfamiliar' is not wrong but 'unfamiliar things' fits better with 'views' (plural) and general preference (Grammar problem type ID 12). Keep pronoun 'it' as a dummy subject if desired ('it's exciting'), and use plural noun to match context. Suggestion: align noun forms with the plural idea of 'views'.

× Of course there are some differences in Japanese cities, but the differences are more in other countries.

✓ Of course there are some differences in Japanese cities, but the differences are greater in other countries.

The phrase 'more in other countries' is vague and grammatically awkward (Grammar problem type ID 26). Use 'greater' to compare the extent of differences. Alternatively, 'differences are more noticeable in other countries' clarifies meaning. Suggestion: use clear comparative adjectives or comparative structures.