Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid informal phrasing like “put snaps” and try to use fuller expressions (e.g., “post photos”).

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often post photos of sunrises and sunsets on Snapchat because I like the colours and peaceful atmosphere.

提案: Improve clarity and grammar, give one clear reason with a specific example, and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct vocabulary (e.g., “clear view,” “urban areas,” “noise from traffic”). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because the landscape is more natural and peaceful. For example, in the countryside you can see wide fields and quiet roads, whereas urban areas have constant noise from traffic.

提案: Use correct verbs and avoid repetition. Give a clear topic sentence stating preference, then add one specific reason and an example. Combine short repeated sentences into one fluent response.

例: I prefer views in my own country because there are many beautiful places I know well. For instance, I often photograph sunsets at local spots in the evening and sometimes record short videos to capture the changing colours.

× I like pictures of different views because I also put snaps on Snapchat of sunsets and sunrises.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views because I also post snaps of sunsets and sunrises on Snapchat.

The original uses 'put snaps on Snapchat', which is unnatural; use 'post snaps on Snapchat'. Also 'I like pictures' is less natural than 'I like taking pictures' to match the activity. This is a verb choice and sentence structure issue; use the correct verb collocation and consistent phrasing.

× I prefer to view in rural areas because there is a natural and clearview on on the other side.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because the scenery is natural and clear on the other side.

'Prefer to view' is awkward; say 'prefer views' or 'prefer being in'. 'clearview' should be two words or better 'clear view' or 'clear scenery'. Remove the repeated 'on'. Also adjust article use: 'there is a natural and clear view' becomes more natural as 'the scenery is natural and clear.' This is a sentence structure and word choice problem.

× On the upper areas there is a lot of pleasants and lot of noise through the cars and transports.

✓ In the upper areas there are a lot of people and a lot of noise from cars and transport.

'Pleasants' is not a correct noun; likely meant 'people' or 'pleasant things'. Also use 'there are' for countable plural 'a lot of people'. Use 'noise from cars and transport' rather than 'through'. This fixes pluralization and preposition choice.

× I prefer wearing my own country because there is a lot of nice places to see.

✓ I prefer my own country because there are a lot of nice places to see.

We do not 'wear' a country; use 'prefer my own country'. 'A lot of nice places' is plural, so use 'there are' rather than 'there is'. This is an issue of incorrect verb choice and article/number agreement.

× I always click pictures in the evening because sunset is very nice.

✓ I always take pictures in the evening because the sunset is very beautiful.

'Click pictures' is an informal calque; use 'take pictures'. 'Sunset' as a specific event needs the definite article 'the sunset', and 'beautiful' is a more natural adjective than 'nice' here. This corrects verb choice, article use, and word choice.

× In the evening. I also make some videos of sunset.

✓ In the evening I also make some videos of the sunset.

The original has an incorrect period breaking the sentence and misses the definite article before 'sunset'. Combine into one sentence and add 'the'. This fixes sentence segmentation and article use.