Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and organize your response: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail with linking words. Avoid fillers and exaggerations (e.g., "100,000 photos") that sound unlikely. Use correct verb forms and plural nouns.

例: Yes, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, last summer when I visited Hong Kong I used my phone to photograph the skyline and street scenes, which helped me remember the trip. Also, I try to take a variety of shots—wide views and close-ups—so I can choose the best ones later.

提案: Clarify your preference and give one or two concrete reasons using linking words (because, so, and). Correct vocabulary (urban/rural, buildings, countryside) and avoid contradictory phrases. Keep answer within 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because the countryside is peaceful and full of natural scenes like fields and trees. For instance, when I go to the countryside I enjoy photographing wildflowers and quiet lanes, which is more relaxing than busy city streets.

提案: Answer the question directly (state preference), then give a specific reason and an example. Use correct expressions (prefer views in other countries), avoid irrelevant personal facts (age, how long you lived), and remove unclear phrases. Use linking words (because, for example).

例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer different cultures and landscapes that I cannot see at home. For example, I enjoyed photographing historic architecture and coastal scenery abroad, which felt more exciting than the familiar sights in my city.

× I love taking picture very much or when I go for a trip, uh, I always use my phone to take a lot of photo.

✓ I love taking pictures very much. When I go on a trip, I always use my phone to take a lot of photos.

The nouns 'picture' and 'photo' should be plural when referring to many items. Also split into two sentences and change preposition 'for a trip' to 'on a trip' for natural English. Suggestion: Use plural form for countable nouns when referring to multiple items and check prepositions ('on a trip').

× Make sure sometimes like uh, last summer I went to Hong Kong, I use my phone and take about more than 100,000 photo that make my phone be empty.

✓ For example, last summer I went to Hong Kong. I used my phone and took more than 100 photos, which made my phone storage full.

The sentence mixes tenses and uses wrong verb forms. 'Use' and 'take' should be past tense ('used', 'took') to match 'last summer'. 'Photo' should be plural ('photos'). 'Made my phone be empty' is unidiomatic; use 'made my phone storage full' or 'filled my phone'. Also 'about more than 100,000' is unrealistic and redundant; corrected to 'more than 100 photos' but keep accurate number if intended. Suggestion: Keep past events in past tense and use correct plural nouns; express result with 'which made...'.

× Actually, I prefer like a bird area because, uh, it can look like the beautiful building, umm, but in the virtual area we can just look around the flowers or look around the tree and the glasses.

✓ Actually, I prefer a rural area because it has beautiful buildings. In the rural area we can look at flowers, trees, and grass.

Many preposition and word choice errors: 'like a bird area' likely intended 'rural area'; 'look like the beautiful building' is wrong—use 'has' or 'beautiful buildings'. Use 'look at' rather than 'look around' when viewing specific items. 'Glass(es)' is incorrect for plants—use 'grass'. Suggestion: Choose correct nouns ('rural' not 'bird' or 'virtual') and use 'look at' for viewing objects; use plural nouns for general references.

× There's, uh, I quite like unburned area so much.

✓ I quite like undeveloped areas very much.

The phrase 'unburned area' is likely incorrect word choice; 'undeveloped' or 'rural' fits better. 'I quite like ... so much' is redundant; use either 'quite like' or 'like ... very much'. Suggestion: Use precise adjectives and avoid redundant intensifiers: 'I quite like undeveloped areas' or 'I like undeveloped areas very much.'

× I prefer to watch the film in other country because and now I'm 20 years old, I live in my country in about more than about 20 years.

✓ I prefer to see places in other countries because I am 20 years old and have lived in my country for about 20 years.

Tense and sentence structure errors: 'prefer to watch the film in other country' is irrelevant to views; changed to 'prefer to see places in other countries'. Use present perfect 'have lived' with 'for about 20 years' to indicate duration from past until now. Remove redundant 'about more than about'. Suggestion: Use 'have lived' + 'for' to express duration and simplify sentences to avoid redundancy.

× Uh, everywhere I can look before, but uh, if I go out to watch other view, I quite is quite interesting for me because our city wheel is more boring.

✓ I have seen everything here before, but if I go out to see different views in other places, it is quite interesting for me because our city is rather boring.

This sentence has unclear structure and incorrect verb forms: 'I can look before' is unnatural—use 'I have seen everything here before'. 'Watch other view' should be 'see different views'. 'I quite is quite interesting' mixes subject and verb—use 'it is quite interesting for me'. 'City wheel' is incorrect—likely 'city life' or 'city' is boring. Suggestion: Use clear subject-verb patterns, proper verbs ('see' rather than 'watch' for views), and correct collocations such as 'city life' or 'our city is rather boring'.