Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, um), correct word forms and plurals, and add one brief reason or example. Use linking words to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I do. I especially enjoy photographing flowers because I love their colours and shapes. For example, I often take pictures of tulips and roses in my local park because their bright colours make my photos more striking.

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but contains fillers and slight repetition. Begin with a direct topic sentence, reduce repetition, and add a specific detail or short example to strengthen your response. Use a linking word to connect reason and example.

例: I prefer rural areas because I enjoy being close to nature and the peaceful atmosphere. For instance, walking through a quiet forest or along green countryside paths helps me relax and take better photographs.

提案: Make your answer more precise and fluent: state your preference first, avoid hesitation, specify what you mean by "Mediterranean area," and give a concrete detail explaining why you prefer it (e.g., climate, architecture, coastline).

例: I prefer the views in my own country, especially in the Mediterranean region. The combination of sunny beaches, historic towns, and olive-covered hills creates a unique landscape that I find more appealing than typical cityscapes abroad.

× I really like, enjoy enjoying taking pictures, uh, especially flowers pictures and because I really like, uh, all types of flowers, but especially I love tulips and rose because of that when I saw them, uh.

✓ I really enjoy taking pictures, especially pictures of flowers, because I like all types of flowers, and I especially love tulips and roses when I see them.

Multiple issues: incorrect double verbs ('like, enjoy enjoying') — use a single verb + -ing (enjoy taking). 'flowers pictures' has incorrect word order and needs 'pictures of flowers'. 'rose' should be plural 'roses' to match 'tulips' and the general statement. The sentence was also run-on; split and reorder for clarity. Suggestion: use one main verb with -ing for activities (enjoy taking), use 'pictures of X' for noun + modifier, use plural nouns for general preferences, and simplify to avoid filler words.

× I prefer rural areas Umm because I love being close to nature and there's a lot of green countryside and forest umm.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I love being close to nature, and there are a lot of green countryside areas and forests.

'there's' is a contraction of 'there is' which is singular; but the items listed ('countryside and forest') are plural/compound, so use 'there are'. Also 'forest' should be plural 'forests' or rephrased as 'areas of forest'. 'green countryside' is fine but 'a lot of green countryside and forest' mixes countable/uncountable; rephrase to 'a lot of green countryside areas and forests' for parallel structure. Suggestion: ensure 'there is/are' matches number and keep parallel nouns consistent.

× The fresh air and peaceful atmosphere help me relax, so I prefer rural areas.

✓ The fresh air and peaceful atmosphere help me relax, so I prefer rural areas.

This sentence is actually correct: the verb 'help' agrees with the compound subject 'The fresh air and peaceful atmosphere' (plural), so use 'help' not 'helps'. No change needed. Explanation: confirm subject-verb agreement for compound subjects; no correction required.

× Actually I really like my uh, country's view, umm, especially, umm, in Mediterranean, uh, area.

✓ Actually, I really like my country's views, especially in the Mediterranean region.

Errors: 'country's view' is awkward — use 'my country's views' or 'the view in my country'. 'in Mediterranean, area' has article and word-order issues; use 'the Mediterranean' or 'the Mediterranean region'. Remove excessive hesitation words. Suggestion: use 'the' with geographic regions ('the Mediterranean') and pluralize 'views' for general preference.

× And the city of Mediterranean is uh, very different view and nature.

✓ And the cities on the Mediterranean have very different views and landscapes.

Problems: 'the city of Mediterranean' is unnatural—use 'cities on the Mediterranean' or 'Mediterranean cities'. 'is very different view and nature' is ungrammatical: mix of noun and verb forms; use plural nouns 'views and landscapes' or 'views and natural features'. Suggestion: use correct noun phrases for geographic descriptions and ensure parallel noun forms.