Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clarity, correct vocabulary and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verbs and nouns, and avoid unnecessary words. For example, say you like taking pictures and why, then give one brief detail. Use linking words if needed.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because I like capturing moments. For example, I save them on my phone so I can look back at the scenery anytime and remember where I was.

提案: Correct vocabulary and sentence structure. Begin with a direct statement of preference, then give specific reasons using clear linking words (because, for example). Replace wrong words (e.g., "pizza" and "on them") and be concise.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I enjoy natural scenes. For example, I like trees, flowers and butterflies, so I take photos to capture the peaceful atmosphere.

提案: Improve coherence and grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence stating preference (own country or abroad). Give one or two specific reasons and a result, using linking words (when, so, therefore). Avoid repetition and unfinished clauses.

例: I prefer taking photos of views in other countries because when I travel I want to record my memories. So, I take photos to remember the places and to share them with friends when I return.

× Yes, I light because I want to wake up the fields in my mobile phone and I can look at them in anytime, anywhere after that.

✓ Yes, I like taking photos because I want to save pictures of scenes on my mobile phone so I can look at them anytime, anywhere later.

Errors: 'light' is a wrong word for 'like' (incorrect word choice), 'wake up the fields' is meaningless here and should be 'save pictures of scenes' (sentence structure/word choice), 'in my mobile phone' should be 'on my mobile phone' (preposition error), and 'in anytime' is incorrect—use 'anytime' or 'at any time' (adverb/preposition misuse). Suggestion: Use 'like' for preference, 'save pictures' or 'take photos' for preserving images, use 'on' with devices, and use 'anytime' or 'at any time'. Suggested grammar_problem_type_id:11

× I pizza fields in rural areas because I like nature such as tree flowers and some animals such as butterflies, so I would like to take the photo on them.

✓ I prefer fields in rural areas because I like nature, such as trees, flowers, and animals like butterflies, so I would like to take photos of them.

Errors: 'pizza' is a wrong word for 'prefer' (incorrect word choice), 'tree' should be plural 'trees' (singular/plural), 'take the photo on them' is incorrect—use 'take photos of them' (preposition and noun number). Suggestion: Use 'prefer' for choice, pluralize countable nouns appropriately, and use 'take photos of' to indicate photographing subjects. Suggested grammar_problem_type_id:1

× I prefer fields in my sorry in other countries because when I go there to travel I want to record and keep the memory and so if I take the photographic on them I can I when I come back to my.

✓ I prefer fields in other countries because when I travel there I want to record and keep memories, so if I take photographs of them I can look at them when I come back home.

Errors: 'in my sorry in other countries' is unclear—should be 'in other countries' (pronoun/word choice). 'Record and keep the memory' should be 'record and keep memories' (article and number). 'Take the photographic on them' is incorrect; use 'take photographs of them' (word form and preposition). 'I can I when I come back to my' is ungrammatical—should be 'I can look at them when I come back home' (sentence structure and missing verb). Suggestion: Use clear pronouns ('other countries'), plural 'memories', 'photographs of', and complete clauses with appropriate verbs like 'look at'. Suggested grammar_problem_type_id:12