Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more organized and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words, and add one specific detail. Use linking words if you expand. Pronunciation and grammar need attention (plural/singular, articles).

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing sunsets and evening scenes, especially in gardens because the light makes the flowers look vivid. For example, last month I photographed a park at dusk and captured the warm colors reflecting on the blooms.

提案: Give a clear main idea and support it with two concise reasons linked by a connector. Avoid repetition and fillers, and name specific examples of urban features. Check sentence accuracy and use plural/singular consistently.

例: I prefer urban views because I love city lights and interesting architecture. For instance, skyscrapers with illuminated facades and historic bridges create dramatic scenes, and nearby parks provide green contrast.

提案: State your preference clearly, give specific reasons and one brief example. Reduce repetition and correct grammar (use articles, word order). Use linking words like because and for example to connect ideas.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I find the cities well-maintained and visually appealing. For example, the city where I live in Russia has clean streets and attractive parks, which makes its views especially pleasant.

× I like to take picture different different scenario like sun, sunset like sunset and UMM in the evening and gardens flowers it is.

✓ I like to take pictures of different scenarios, such as the sun at sunset, in the evening, and flowers in gardens.

The student used singular nouns where plurals are required: 'picture' should be 'pictures' and 'scenario' should be 'scenarios' because they refer to multiple items. Also word order and prepositions were incorrect: use 'take pictures of' and 'flowers in gardens'. Suggestion: use plural forms when referring to more than one item and follow the pattern 'take pictures of + noun'.

× I like to take picture different different scenario like sun, sunset like sunset and UMM in the evening and gardens flowers it is.

✓ I like to take pictures of different scenarios, such as the sun at sunset, in the evening, and flowers in gardens.

The student repeated 'different' unnecessarily and placed nouns in an unnatural order ('gardens flowers'). Recommended: avoid repetition and use correct noun-adjective order: 'flowers in gardens' or 'garden flowers'.

× I like to take picture different different scenario like sun, sunset like sunset and UMM in the evening and gardens flowers it is.

✓ I like to take pictures of different scenarios, such as the sun at sunset, in the evening, and flowers in gardens.

The sentence is fragmented and has awkward filler words ('UMM') and an unnecessary tag 'it is'. Suggestion: remove fillers and restructuring into a clear list introduced by 'such as' for clarity.

× I prefer view on my own country because it's most organized and most beautiful country I have, uh, I have ever visited because we have where I where, where I live in Russia city. It's very beautiful and clean.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because it is the most organized and the most beautiful country I have ever visited; the city where I live in Russia is very beautiful and clean.

Pronoun and determiner use is incorrect: 'view on my own country' should be 'views in my own country'; 'it's most organized' needs the definite article 'the most organized'; 'we have where I where, where I live' is ungrammatical. Suggestion: use 'views in' for location, include 'the' with superlatives, and use a clear clause 'the city where I live in Russia'.

× I prefer view on my own country because it's most organized and most beautiful country I have, uh, I have ever visited because we have where I where, where I live in Russia city. It's very beautiful and clean.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because it is the most organized and the most beautiful country I have ever visited; the city where I live in Russia is very beautiful and clean.

Missing articles: 'view' should be 'views'; superlative 'most beautiful country' requires 'the most beautiful country'. Also 'Russia city' should be 'city in Russia' or 'Russian city'. Suggestion: use articles with countable nouns and before superlatives, and correct noun order for locations.

× I prefer, uh, urban areas because I like city lights. I like city lights and more importantly, different, different uncommon buildings. Uh, uh, parks, it is here, etcetera.

✓ I prefer urban areas because I like city lights and, more importantly, different and uncommon buildings and parks.

Repetition and noun phrases are awkward. 'Different, different uncommon buildings' should be 'different and uncommon buildings'. 'Parks, it is here' is incorrect; use 'parks' as part of the list. Also ensure plural 'buildings' and 'parks' when referring generally. Suggestion: avoid repetition and join items in a parallel list.

× I prefer, uh, urban areas because I like city lights. I like city lights and more importantly, different, different uncommon buildings. Uh, uh, parks, it is here, etcetera.

✓ I prefer urban areas because I like city lights and, more importantly, different and uncommon buildings and parks.

The student used fillers and fragmented phrases, causing poor sentence structure. Combine related ideas into one coherent sentence and remove fillers like 'uh'. Suggestion: form a single clear sentence listing reasons in parallel structure.

× I prefer view on my own country because it's most organized and most beautiful country I have, uh, I have ever visited because we have where I where, where I live in Russia city. It's very beautiful and clean.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because it is the most organized and the most beautiful country I have ever visited; the city where I live in Russia is very beautiful and clean.

Prepositions are incorrect: use 'views in' rather than 'view on', and 'city in Russia' rather than 'Russia city'. Suggestion: use 'in' for countries and cities and the idiom 'views in my country'.

× I prefer view on my own country because it's most organized and most beautiful country I have, uh, I have ever visited because we have where I where, where I live in Russia city. It's very beautiful and clean.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because it is the most organized and the most beautiful country I have ever visited; the city where I live in Russia is very beautiful and clean.

Mismatch between singular/plural and verbs: 'it's most organized and most beautiful country' mixes 'it's' (it is) with 'country' lacking article; ensure subject 'it' refers clearly to 'my country' and use 'is the most organized country'. Suggestion: make subjects and verbs agree and include necessary articles.

× It's very beautiful and clean.

✓ It is very beautiful and clean.

Contraction 'it's' is acceptable in speech, but for clarity in test responses writing 'It is' is preferred. Grammatically this is third person singular 'it is'. No tense error. Suggestion: keep 'It is' in formal responses.