Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct minor grammatical issues. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid vague phrasing like “connect photographs” and replace it with precise expressions (e.g., “combine photos” or “create albums”).

例: Yes, I really enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph landmarks and street scenes when I travel, and then I combine the best shots into a digital album to help me remember each holiday.

提案: Make your preference clearer and avoid repetition. Begin with a direct statement of preference (or say you like both) and then support it with a specific comparison using linking words (e.g., “while” or “because”). Keep to two or three sentences to be more concise.

例: I enjoy both urban and rural views because they offer contrasting experiences: urban scenes provide dynamic architecture and street life, while rural landscapes give peaceful natural vistas. When I travel, I photograph both so I can capture a complete picture of the place.

提案: Correct vocabulary and grammar mistakes and be more specific. Use a clear topic sentence stating your inclination, then give 1–2 concrete examples of landscapes in Italy and abroad. Replace unclear phrases (e.g., “dramatic lives,” “pine destinations,” “underscoring”) with accurate words like “dramatic cliffs,” “pine-covered hills,” and “discovering.”

例: I prefer views in my own country because Italy has a huge variety of scenery, from dramatic cliffs along the coast to pine-covered hills in Tuscany. However, I also enjoy discovering new landscapes abroad, such as the fjords in Norway or the deserts in Morocco, which inspire different styles of photography.

× I love taking pictures, especially of places which catch my eye and they usually connect photographs to help me remember my holiday.

✓ I love taking pictures, especially of places that catch my eye, and I usually compile the photographs to help me remember my holiday.

The original sentence mixes clauses incorrectly and uses 'connect photographs' which is ungrammatical. 'Which' for things is acceptable but 'that' is more natural here; the clause after 'and' lacks a clear subject so add 'I'. 'Connect photographs' is wrong in meaning; 'compile' or 'organize' fits when describing collecting photos to remember a holiday. Also use past participle not needed; main issue is sentence structure and word choice (falls under past participle only if correction uses 'compiled', but here structure fix).

× I like both urban and rural views because they provide different experiences.

✓ I like both urban and rural views because each provides different experiences.

The original is grammatically acceptable, but 'they provide different experiences' can be made clearer by matching singular 'each' with 'provides' to emphasize that each type offers distinct experiences. This addresses present participle usage as the sentence focuses on present habitual action; change improves agreement and clarity.

× I love photography so much that when I travel I usually have plenty of photographs of different views and love it because it is a way to collect memories.

✓ I love photography so much that when I travel I usually take plenty of photographs of different views, and I love it because it is a way to collect memories.

The original sentence repeats 'have' and 'love' awkwardly and lacks a subject before the second 'love'. Replace 'have plenty of photographs' with 'take plenty of photographs' to match the action of photographing. Add the subject 'I' before the second 'love' to correct sentence structure and parallelism.

× Being an Italian, I might sound a bit biased, but I love the wide range of landscapes Italy offers.

✓ As an Italian, I might sound a bit biased, but I love the wide range of landscapes that Italy offers.

'Being an Italian' is understandable but the participial phrase can be improved to 'As an Italian' for clarity and naturalness. Also add 'that' to introduce the relative clause 'that Italy offers' which makes the sentence clearer; this is an incorrect pronoun/relative clause use improvement.

× It may vary from dramatic lives to a pine destinations.

✓ They range from dramatic cliffs to pine-covered destinations.

Original contains multiple errors: 'It may vary' mismatches subject and number; 'dramatic lives' is incorrect word choice likely meant 'cliffs' or 'landscapes'; 'a pine destinations' mixes singular article with plural noun. Correct by using plural subject 'They' or 'Landscapes' and appropriate nouns 'dramatic cliffs' and 'pine-covered destinations'. This fixes sentence structure and agreement.

× Nevertheless, I love traveling, underscoring new inspiring places around the world.

✓ Nevertheless, I love traveling and discovering new, inspiring places around the world.

'Underscoring' is the wrong verb here; use 'discovering' or 'exploring'. Also add a comma between 'new' and 'inspiring' to separate coordinate adjectives. Change 'traveling, underscoring' to 'traveling and discovering' to correct adjective/verb usage and improve meaning.