Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers (umm) and incorrect verb forms. Also correct collocations (e.g., 'landscape scenes' or 'landscapes', 'wildlife' without article) and awkward phrases like 'make me load travelling'.

例: Yes, I love taking photographs of landscapes. For example, I enjoy capturing mountains and rivers because they change with the seasons, and I also like photographing wildlife when I travel because animals add life and emotion to a scene.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and one or two specific reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Remove hesitations, use countable/uncountable correctly (e.g., 'more things'), and fix verb forms ('I often have the chance to photograph different flowers').

例: I prefer rural areas because there are more natural features to explore, such as mountains, rivers and wildlife. For instance, when I visit the countryside I often photograph wildflowers and birds, which makes my trips more enjoyable.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repetition and fillers. State preference or explain neutrality clearly, then give a concise reason with a specific example. Fix pronunciation/wording like 'different countries have different attractions'.

例: I enjoy views both in my own country and abroad because each place offers unique scenery. For example, my country has familiar landscapes that I appreciate, while other countries offer new plants and architectural styles that inspire my photography.

× Absolutely, I love photography and I love taking a photo of landscape sceneries and everything surrounding umm the place and that one of the reason I make me load travelling.

✓ Absolutely, I love photography and I love taking photos of landscapes and everything surrounding the place, and that is one of the reasons I enjoy travelling a lot.

Multiple issues: 'taking a photo of landscape sceneries' uses incorrect countable forms and word choice; 'scenery' is uncountable and should be 'landscapes' or 'scenic views'; 'that one of the reason' lacks verb and article; 'I make me load travelling' is ungrammatical and wordy. Correction uses plural 'photos' and 'landscapes', adds 'the' before 'place', changes to 'that is one of the reasons' for grammatical structure, and replaces 'make me load' with 'enjoy travelling a lot' for clear meaning and correct adverb placement. Suggestions: use correct noun forms (singular vs plural), ensure complete clauses with verbs, and use natural verb phrases like 'enjoy travelling'.

× I also love have a chance to take a photo of a wildlife which is inspiring me a lot.

✓ I also love having the chance to take photos of wildlife, which inspires me a lot.

Errors: 'love have a chance' needs a gerund or infinitive; 'a wildlife' is incorrect because 'wildlife' is uncountable and takes no article; 'take a photo of' better as 'take photos of' for general habit; 'which is inspiring me a lot' should be 'which inspires me a lot' to match the singular idea and simple present. Use gerund 'having' after 'love', drop the article with 'wildlife', and simplify verb form to 'inspires'.

× Do you umm I will say I love rural areas because there's more thing to explore like mountains, rivers and animals and also flowers and I most of the time I have a chance to taking a flight different flowers which really I love.

✓ I would say I love rural areas because there are more things to explore, like mountains, rivers, animals, and flowers, and most of the time I have a chance to take photos of different flowers, which I really love.

Problems: mixing 'Do you umm I will say' is disfluent; 'there's more thing' uses singular 'thing' with 'more' and should be 'there are more things'; 'I most of the time I have a chance to taking a flight different flowers' is ungrammatical: 'most of the time' should be placed before verb, 'have a chance to taking' requires infinitive 'to take', and 'taking a flight different flowers' is nonsensical—likely 'take photos of different flowers'. Correction fixes subject-verb agreement ('there are'), proper word order, infinitive use, and clarifies 'take photos of'. Suggest speaking in simpler clauses and using correct plural forms and infinitives after 'have a chance to'.

× Uh, yes, I enjoy my, the views of my country as well as others as well.

✓ Yes, I enjoy the views of my country as well as those of other countries.

Issue: redundant and incorrect pronoun/article use: 'my, the views' is confused; 'others as well' is vague. Use 'the views of my country' and refer to 'those of other countries' to avoid repetition and clarify comparison. Suggest removing redundant words and using clear possessive structures when comparing.

× Uh, it's really hard to choose because, you know, different country would have different interesting things to, you know, to, to, to cat, to attract it's.

✓ It's really hard to choose because different countries have different interesting attractions that attract people.

Multiple problems: 'different country would have' should be plural 'different countries have' to match general truth (present simple); 'different interesting things to... to cat, to attract it's' is garbled. Replace with 'different interesting attractions that attract people' or 'that are attractive'. Use present simple for general statements, correct pluralization, and construct a clear relative clause. Suggest planning the sentence before speaking and using simple, standard structures for comparisons.