Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 많이 중복되고 불필요한 움음(umm)과 반복이 많습니다. 먼저 간단한 주제 문장으로 바로 대답한 뒤(예: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views.), 이유와 구체적인 상황을 연결하는 한두 문장으로 확장하세요. 연결어(for example, because, so)를 사용해 문장의 흐름을 매끄럽게 하고, 장소나 상황(near my house, mountain and park, when I have free time)을 더 구체적으로 표현하세요. 또한 동사 형태와 관사(a/the)을 정확히 사용하도록 연습하세요.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, I live near a mountain and a park, so when I have free time I often go outside and take pictures of the scenery.

提案: 답변은 핵심을 잘 잡았지만 반복(umm)과 말 더듬음, 문장 구조의 어색함이 점수를 낮춥니다. 먼저 명확한 주제 문장으로 선호를 밝히고(because 사용), 이유를 구체적으로 연결하세요. 감정 표현이나 구체적 행동(look around the mountains, go for a walk)을 덧붙여 자연스럽게 마무리하세요. 연결어(so, because, therefore)를 활용해 논리적 흐름을 만드세요.

例: I prefer views in rural areas because I love the countryside. When I'm stressed, I like to walk around the mountains and relax, which really helps me unwind.

提案: 대답이 혼란스럽고 반복이 많으며 비교 내용이 명확하지 않습니다. 먼저 간단히 선호를 밝히고(Yes, I prefer views in my own country.), 그 이유를 한두 문장으로 구체적으로 말하세요(예: cultural familiarity, nostalgic feelings). 다른 나라와 비교할 때는 구체적인 비교 요소(landscape, culture, accessibility)를 제시하세요. 불확실한 표현(I think)은 피하고 현재 상황을 명확히 말하세요.

例: Yes, I prefer views in my own country. Even though I live in Germany now, I find Korean landscapes and familiar cultural scenes more comforting and meaningful, so I enjoy seeing views from Korea more than foreign ones.

× Yes, I yes, I like taking picture of different view because, umm my house in the near in near of mountain and park.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because my house is near the mountains and a park.

The noun 'picture' and 'view' should be plural after 'taking' when speaking generally; use 'taking pictures of different views'. Also 'in the near in near of' is ungrammatical; use 'is near' with location nouns and pluralize 'mountain' to 'mountains' if referring to a range. Remove filler repetition and extraneous commas. Suggestion: practice forming 'be + near + noun' and pluralizing countable nouns.

× So when I when I have a time, I I take off I take picture.

✓ So when I have time, I take pictures.

The phrase 'have a time' is incorrect; use 'have time' for free time. 'Take off' is unnecessary and changes meaning; likely intended 'take' pictures. Remove repetitions. Suggestion: use the simple present for habitual actions and avoid unnecessary fillers.

× Umm I prefer view in rural areas because umm I like countryside and when I have umm, when I have stress and when I have a lot of stress, umm I relive, I relieve stress umm to see and look around mountain.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I like the countryside, and when I'm stressed I relieve stress by looking at the mountains.

'Prefer view' should be 'prefer views' (plural). 'Like countryside' needs the definite article 'the countryside'. 'When I have stress' is unnatural; use 'when I'm stressed' or 'when I have a lot of stress'. 'Relive' is incorrect spelling/context; 'relieve stress' or 'relieve my stress by' is correct. 'Look around mountain' needs plural 'mountains' and preposition 'at'. Suggestion: learn common collocations like 'relieve stress', 'the countryside', and use 'when I'm stressed'.

× Yeah, yes, I prefer view in my country.

✓ Yes, I prefer views in my country.

'Prefer view' should be 'prefer views' (plural). Also condense filler words. Suggestion: use plural when talking generally and avoid duplicate affirmations.

× Actually I I am living in German Germany, but my country is Korea I think, and Korea between Korea between Germany and compare is umm Germany is Germany have made a lot of.

✓ Actually I am living in Germany, but my home country is Korea. Comparing Korea and Germany, Germany has developed a lot.

Use 'living in Germany' (country name only). 'My country is Korea' is fine with punctuation. The phrase 'Korea between Korea between Germany and compare is umm' is ungrammatical; express comparison as 'Comparing Korea and Germany'. 'Germany is Germany have made a lot of' should be 'Germany has developed a lot' — use present perfect 'has developed' for changes over time and correct subject-verb agreement. Suggestion: practice forming comparison sentences 'Comparing A and B, B has ...' and use correct verb forms like 'has developed'.