Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and ensure a clear topic sentence followed by 1–2 supporting details. Avoid listing too many items and correct minor grammar awkwardness (e.g., 'a couple of years ago' is fine, but 'particularly' is repetitive). Add a brief reason or feeling to make the answer more natural.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially while traveling abroad. For example, on a family trip to Japan and Taiwan a few years ago I loved capturing scenic landscapes and lively streetscapes because they showed local life and unique architecture.

提案: Start with a clear, direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words. Correct sentence fragments and punctuation; avoid vague phrases like 'it makes me feel'—finish the thought with the specific feeling or effect.

例: I prefer rural views because I love being surrounded by nature. For instance, mountain landscapes and birdlife help me relax and feel refreshed, whereas urban scenes, although interesting for architecture, feel more hectic.

提案: Give a direct answer with a clear reason and finish sentences fully. Avoid vague endings like 'It makes.' Add a specific example of what differs abroad compared to home to strengthen your point.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they often offer different cultural scenery and architectural styles. For example, in Japan I saw traditional temples and tidy gardens that were very different from the landscapes back home, which made the experience more memorable.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel abroad.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, especially when I travel abroad.

The use of 'do' as an emphatic auxiliary is unnecessary in a neutral answer. Removing 'do' produces the natural simple present 'I like', which fits a general preference. Suggestion: Use simple present for habitual preferences unless you want emphasis, e.g., 'I do like' only for contrast or emphasis.

× Particularly, I went to Japan, Thailand and Taiwan a couple of years ago with my family.

✓ I went to Japan, Thailand and Taiwan a couple of years ago with my family.

Beginning with 'Particularly' is redundant and awkward here. The sentence is otherwise correct in past tense. Suggestion: Remove unnecessary adverbs and keep the past tense verb 'went' to describe completed trips.

× I enjoyed taking the scenic views, the streetscapes and the city views.

✓ I enjoyed taking pictures of scenic views, streetscapes and cityscapes.

'Taking the scenic views' is odd because 'take' collocates with 'pictures' or 'photos'. Also 'city views' is better expressed as 'cityscapes'. Use 'taking pictures of' to clarify the action. Suggestion: Pair 'taking pictures of' with plural nouns describing what was photographed.

× I prefer views in rural areas compared to urban areas because I am more into nature.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas to those in urban areas because I am more into nature.

Use 'prefer A to B' not 'prefer A compared to B'. Also parallel structure requires 'those in urban areas' to avoid repetition of 'views'. Suggestion: Use 'prefer A to B' and maintain parallel noun phrases.

× Urban areas offer city vibes and fascinating architectures but I prefer the mountains, the nature, birds it makes me feel.

✓ Urban areas offer city vibes and fascinating architecture, but I prefer the mountains, nature and birds; they make me feel peaceful.

'Fascinating architectures' is incorrect because 'architecture' is an uncountable noun in this sense. The original run-on sentence 'birds it makes me feel' lacks clarity and a proper clause. Use a semicolon or separate clauses and clarify the feeling produced. Suggestion: Use uncountable 'architecture', list items cleanly, and complete the clause describing the emotion.

× I honestly prefer views in foreign countries, just like the countries I mentioned a while ago.

✓ I honestly prefer views in foreign countries, like the ones I mentioned a while ago.

'Just like the countries I mentioned a while ago' is slightly redundant and wordy. Replacing with 'like the ones I mentioned' makes the sentence more natural while keeping present tense preference. Suggestion: Use concise referencing ('the ones') for prior items.

× I particularly enjoyed the culture and varied views offered by Japan, Thailand and Taiwan.

✓ I particularly enjoyed the cultures and varied views offered by Japan, Thailand and Taiwan.

If referring to culture in multiple countries, use the plural 'cultures'. The past tense 'enjoyed' is correct because these were past trips. Suggestion: Match singular/plural when referring to multiple countries (cultures).

× It makes.

✓ They do.

'It makes.' is a sentence fragment and unclear. The intended meaning is likely that the experiences make the student prefer foreign views, so 'They do.' or a complete clause like 'They do' or 'They make me prefer foreign views.' is needed. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; use complete clauses that clearly reference the subject.