Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use clearer phrasing. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh, you know), and provide one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., souvenirs, reminders) and correct tense/word choice (use 'I have been' or 'I visited').

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different places. For example, when I visit a new city I take pictures as mementos because they remind me of the sights and experiences I had there.

提案: Give a clear direct answer (urban, rural, or both) and then explain with specific reasons using linking words. Remove fillers and correct vocabulary errors ('more oil' is incorrect). Use comparative language and concrete examples (e.g., skyline, green fields).

例: I prefer both urban and rural views. Urban areas offer impressive skylines and cultural landmarks, while rural areas provide peaceful landscapes and rolling fields, so I like both for different reasons.

提案: Answer directly and avoid confusing or incorrect phrases (e.g., 'No money when you're in different country' is unclear). Use linking words to compare and provide specific reasons and examples, and correct grammar (e.g., 'different vibes', 'I still have many places to visit').

例: I enjoy views both at home and abroad. When I travel abroad I experience different cultures and scenery, whereas in my own country I appreciate familiar landscapes and still have many places I want to explore.

× taking pictures of different places, uh, helps me to remember what places I used to be, where I used to be, and it gives me memories, physical, uh, proof that I've been there.

✓ Taking pictures of different places helps me remember the places I have been and gives me physical proof that I've been there.

The original sentence uses 'what places I used to be' and 'where I used to be', which incorrectly uses the base verb 'be' instead of the past participle 'been' to indicate past experience. Use the present perfect 'have been' or 'have visited' to express that you have been to those places. Also remove redundant words (such as both occurrences) and streamline phrasing for clarity. Suggestions: replace 'used to be' with 'have been' or 'have visited' and remove filler words.

× Actually both uh, uh, we have uh, houses, house to rural and urban.

✓ Actually both; we have houses in both rural and urban areas.

The original mixes singular 'house' and plural 'houses' and has incorrect preposition use. The speaker means multiple houses exist in both area types, so use the plural 'houses' and the preposition 'in' plus 'areas.' Also adding 'areas' clarifies the contrast. Suggestions: use 'houses in both rural and urban areas'.

× It kinda give you different kinds of scenery.

✓ It kind of gives you different kinds of scenery.

The informal 'kinda' should be 'kind of' in semi-formal speech, and the verb must agree with the singular subject 'it' so use 'gives' instead of 'give.' This fixes subject-verb agreement and makes the phrase clearer. Suggestions: use 'kind of' and ensure verb agrees with subject.

× So I love both because, uh, rural areas give you more oil.

✓ So I love both because rural areas give you more peace and open space.

The word 'oil' is unlikely intended and is a word choice error. Context suggests qualities like 'peace', 'fresh air', or 'open space.' Replace with an appropriate noun. Also remove filler 'uh' for clarity. Suggestions: choose a context-appropriate noun such as 'peace', 'fresh air', or 'open space'.

× I love both because it gives you a different vibes.

✓ I love both because they give you different vibes.

The subject 'both' is plural, so the pronoun and verb should be plural: use 'they give' rather than 'it gives'. Also pluralize 'vibe' if intending multiple types: 'different vibes.' Suggestions: match subject-verb number and pluralize nouns consistently.

× No money when you're in different country.

✓ There's no money needed when you're in a different country.

The original is fragmentary and unclear. It lacks a subject and verb and misses the article 'a' before 'different country.' 'No money' is vague; context might mean 'it costs no money' or 'you don't need money.' I corrected to a full sentence with 'there's' and added 'a.' Suggestions: use complete sentence structure with appropriate articles and clarify meaning.

× Uh, the surroundings are new but even that in my own country also I appreciate it since I've not I still have many places to visit.

✓ The surroundings are new, but even in my own country I appreciate them since I still have many places to visit.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and contains word order errors, redundant phrases, and incorrect pronoun reference. Use 'them' to refer to 'surroundings' (plural), place 'in my own country' correctly, remove 'even that' and redundant 'also', and correct 'since I've not I still have' to 'since I still have.' Suggestions: keep subject and pronoun agreement, use correct word order, and remove redundancies.