Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler phrases and repetition (e.g., "throughout my ride or throughout my travel" and trailing off). Also correct minor grammar issues and finish your thought.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, when I travel I photograph landscapes and streetscapes so I can revisit the place later; this helps me remember details and feel nostalgic. I often review these photos when planning future trips.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence and then a specific reason with linking words. Reduce hesitations and correct grammar (e.g., "on rural areas" → "in rural areas"). Mention one or two concrete examples (types of scenes) rather than vague phrases.

例: I prefer taking photographs in rural areas because I live in a busy city and rural scenery is rare for me. For instance, I enjoy capturing traditional houses and wide fields at sunrise, which show colours and textures I don't see at home.

提案: Be more fluent and avoid repetition ("In my own opinion, I'd like I prefer"). Open with a clear preference, give a concise reason, and include a specific example of what you learn or share. Use linking words (because, so, for example) to improve coherence.

例: I prefer views from other countries because living in the same place for 28 years makes foreign scenes more interesting. For example, when I travel I photograph local festivals and architecture, and as a teacher I later show these images to my students to teach them about different cultures.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views.

The original uses 'do like' which is grammatically acceptable but unnatural in affirmative present simple; prefer 'I like' for simple habitual action. Keep present tense to match question about preferences.

× It gives me variations of views throughout my ride or throughout my travel.

✓ It gives me different views throughout my ride or my travels.

Use 'different views' instead of 'variations of views' for natural phrasing. 'Throughout my travel' is awkward; use plural 'travels' or 'a trip'. 'Ride' and 'travels' are countable nouns so keep consistent articles. Present simple 'gives' is correct.

× Like I could look at it every time I feel nostalgic about the place or I want to go back to a place.

✓ For example, I can look at them whenever I feel nostalgic about a place or want to return.

Begin with a clear connector ('For example'). Use plural pronoun 'them' to refer to 'pictures'. Use 'can' instead of 'could' to express ability in general present. 'Whenever' is more natural than 'every time', and 'return' is more concise than 'go back to a place'.

× So I just look at the pictures I took throughout my travel and I think.

✓ So I just look at the pictures I took during my travels and reminisce.

'Throughout my travel' is awkward; use 'during my travels'. The original ends with 'and I think' which is incomplete; replace with a complete idea 'and reminisce' to convey meaning. Maintain past participle 'took' correct for completed action.

× Umm for me, I would prefer taking pictures on rural areas because I live in an urban area and it is unusual for me to see a scenery in rural places.

✓ For me, I prefer taking pictures in rural areas because I live in an urban area and it is unusual for me to see scenery there.

Use 'in rural areas' not 'on'. 'I would prefer' is acceptable but 'I prefer' is simpler for habitual preference. 'A scenery' is incorrect; 'scenery' is uncountable so no article. End with 'there' to refer to rural places.

× I I love to go back to how houses, umm, landscapes and even sunrise.

✓ I love looking back at photos of houses, landscapes, and sunrises.

The original is ungrammatical and unclear. Remove duplicate 'I'. Use 'looking back at photos of' to express revisiting images. 'Sunrise' should be plural 'sunrises' when speaking generally. Keep nouns in parallel form and list with commas.

× In my own opinion, I'd like I prefer views from other countries since I live here for 28 years already and in another country I can see a different culture with my eyes especially with because I am a teacher and then I can share my sightseeing with my students when I come back in the Philippines.

✓ In my opinion, I prefer views from other countries because I have lived here for 28 years, and in another country I can experience different cultures, which I can share with my students when I return to the Philippines because I am a teacher.

Multiple issues: 'In my own opinion' -> 'In my opinion' is natural. Remove 'I'd like I' redundancy. Use present perfect 'have lived' to indicate duration up to now. 'See a different culture with my eyes' is awkward; use 'experience different cultures'. 'Especially with because' is ungrammatical; restructure clause and place 'because I am a teacher' to explain why sharing is possible. Use 'when I return' not 'come back in'.