Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Улучшите ясность и точность ответа: начните с прямого предложения на тему, избегайте лишних пауз и слов-паразитов (uh, actually), исправьте неверные слова (singers → scenes) и добавьте одно-два конкретных объяснения. Используйте связку для плавности (for example, also, besides).

例: I don't really enjoy taking pictures of views. For example, I prefer to stay present and enjoy the moment rather than photographing it, and my phone camera is also of poor quality, so photos usually turn out badly.

提案: Сократите паузы и говорите связно: начните с чёткой теме-строки, затем плавно добавьте причину с помощью связок (for example, however). Исправьте грамматику (its → the, calmly → calm, re energized → re-energising) и дайте более конкретные детали о различиях между городом и сельской местностью.

例: It depends on my mood. For example, I like the excitement and energy of city views when I'm out with friends; however, when I want to relax I prefer rural areas because the calm nature and fresh air are very re-energising.

提案: Сформулируйте ответ более структурировано: начните с прямого утверждения (I like both), затем объясните причины, используя связки (for one thing, on the other hand). Избегайте повторов (familiar familiar) и уточните примеры (rivers → landscapes, architecture).

例: I like both. For one thing, I enjoy revisiting familiar places in my country because they feel comfortable and nostalgic; on the other hand, I also enjoy travelling abroad to discover new cultures, traditions and landscapes.

× Actually now, uh, I'm not interested such kind of singers, uh, because I like feeling at the moment rather than taking photos, uh, moreover, my telephone camera is bad.

✓ Actually, right now I'm not interested in that kind of thing, because I prefer experiencing the moment rather than taking photos; moreover, my phone camera is bad.

The student used incorrect pronouns and noun phrases ('such kind of singers' is wrong for the intended meaning). Use 'interested in' + noun phrase. Replace 'singers' with 'thing' or 'activity' to match context. Use 'right now' for current time. Use 'prefer' rather than 'I like feeling at the moment' to express preference. Also 'telephone camera' is unnatural; use 'phone camera'. Improve sentence flow with punctuation and conjunctions. Suggestions: use 'interested in', choose correct noun ('that kind of thing' or 'that kind of photography'), and use 'prefer experiencing the moment'.

× Honestly speaking, it depends on my mood. Uh sometimes I enjoy excitement and energy of city views. However, sometimes when I want to relax, I prefer uh rural areas because its nature is very calmly and re energized for me.

✓ Honestly speaking, it depends on my mood. Sometimes I enjoy the excitement and energy of city views. However, when I want to relax, I prefer rural areas because their nature is very calm and re-energizing for me.

Errors: 'enjoy excitement and energy of city views' needs definite article 'the'. 'Prefer uh rural areas because its nature' uses wrong pronoun; 'areas' is plural so use 'their'. 'Very calmly' is incorrect adverb; 'calm' is adjective describing 'nature'. 'Re energized' should be 're-energizing'. Suggestions: match articles, use correct possessive pronoun for plural ('their'), use adjective 'calm' to describe 'nature', and use compound adjective 're-energizing'.

× Actually both of some interesting and I want to explore with them because sometimes I want to go familiar familiar areas in my country, but sometimes I want to explore new cultures, new traditions and new rivers and other.

✓ Actually, both are interesting and I want to explore them, because sometimes I want to visit familiar areas in my country, but other times I want to explore new cultures, new traditions, rivers, and other places.

Problems: 'both of some interesting' is ungrammatical; use 'both are interesting'. 'Explore with them' wrongly uses 'with'; use 'explore them' or 'explore both'. 'Go familiar familiar areas' is incorrect word order and repetition; use 'visit familiar areas'. 'New rivers and other' is incomplete; use 'rivers and other places'. Suggestions: use correct verb-object structure ('explore them'), avoid repetition, use 'visit' for places, and complete noun phrases ('other places').