Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and awkward phrases (e.g. “to also as well as”). Use concrete examples of what you photograph and why.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because they capture memories I can revisit later. For example, I often photograph sunsets and city skylines to remember the colours and atmosphere, and I also take candid shots of people to preserve special moments.

提案: Give a clear preference or explain why you like both with supporting details. Use linking words (however, because, for example) and add one specific example to make the answer more informative.

例: I enjoy both urban and rural views because each offers something different. For example, I like urban skylines for their dramatic lights and architecture, whereas rural landscapes appeal to me for their peacefulness and natural colours.

提案: Organise your answer with a clear topic sentence and specific supporting details. Avoid repetition (e.g. "scenery scenery") and unclear phrases. Use linking words (because, for example) and give one concise example of a memorable local view and why it matters to you.

例: I usually prefer views in my own country because they are familiar and full of personal memories. For example, the coastal cliffs near my hometown remind me of childhood beach festivals and family picnics, so photographing them helps me recall those happy times.

× I do like taking pictures of different views for memories so I can go back through that time or photo and reminisce about missing what it felt like.

✓ I do like taking pictures of different views as memories so I can look back at that time or photo and reminisce about how it felt.

The sentence misuses 'for memories' and 'go back through that time or photo' which is awkward. Use 'as memories' and 'look back at' for correct collocations; also replace 'missing what it felt like' with 'how it felt' to use correct noun clause. This fixes verb+ -ing phrasing and clarity. Suggestion: focus on common verb+preposition collocations (look back at, reminisce about) and use 'how' to introduce feelings.

× Also it's to also as well as to pose something.

✓ Also, I sometimes take posed photos.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and redundant ('also' repeated, unclear 'to pose something'). Rewriting into a clear subject-verb-object structure removes redundancy and conveys intended meaning. Suggestion: form simple sentences with subject and verb and avoid stacking redundant connectors.

× Well, I prefer both because it doesn't matter what kind of view it is.

✓ Well, I prefer both because it doesn't matter what kind of view they are.

Refers to 'views' (plural) so the pronoun and verb should agree in number. 'It is' mismatches plural antecedent; use 'they are' or rephrase 'what kind of view it is' to 'what kind of views they are.' Suggestion: ensure pronouns and verbs match the number of their nouns.

× I generally prefer to be using my own country because they are familiar and evoke personal memories such as family trips to nearby mountains or lakes.

✓ I generally prefer using my own country because it is familiar and evokes personal memories such as family trips to nearby mountains or lakes.

Use simple present 'prefer using' rather than progressive 'prefer to be using.' 'Country' is singular, so use 'it is' and 'evokes' to match singular subject. This corrects tense and subject-verb agreement. Suggestion: use simple present for general preferences and ensure subject number matches verbs.

× For example, the coastal scenery scenery where I grew up remains beyond childhood rocks and local festivals which make those.

✓ For example, the coastal scenery where I grew up, the childhood rocks, and local festivals all contribute to those memories.

Original repeats 'scenery' and has unclear structure ('remains beyond childhood rocks'). Rewriting lists the elements clearly and uses 'contribute to those memories' to express relationship. Suggestion: avoid repetition and ensure parallel structure when listing items; use clear verbs to show relationships.