Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid filler words (uh, um) and incorrect or unclear phrases (e.g., “inks,” “teenage,” “in my childhood”) that confuse meaning. Use correct verb forms and nouns (e.g., content creator).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different landscapes. For example, I often photograph parks and city skylines, and I like sharing my best shots on Instagram, where I post weekly to engage with followers.

提案: Give a direct opinion and support it with specific reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler. Use clearer vocabulary (e.g., countryside, wildlife, mountains, fields) and correct grammar (e.g., “we can see,” “I prefer rural areas because…”).

例: I prefer rural areas because they offer diverse natural scenery. For instance, you can see wildlife, forests, mountains, and open fields, which makes rural landscapes more interesting to photograph than many urban scenes.

提案: Answer directly and clearly: state your current experience and future intentions. Reduce hesitation and correct tense usage (e.g., “I have never been to other countries”). Give one specific reason or example to support your preference or plan.

例: I have never been to other countries, so I currently only know the scenery in my own country. However, I dream of visiting places like Japan or New Zealand to photograph different landscapes and learn new photographic styles.

× Yes, I enjoy taking uh, pictures in a different, uh, scenery, uh, inks, uh, uh, teenage.

✓ Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different sceneries.

The original sentence has disfluent filler words and incorrect noun usage. 'Scenery' is an uncountable noun but 'different sceneries' or 'different scenes' is natural here; using 'of' is correct collocation with 'taking pictures of'. Remove fillers ('uh') and irrelevant words ('inks', 'teenage'). Keep the sentence concise and fluent.

× I uh, love to post uh, the picture in the Instagram and in social media.

✓ I love to post pictures on Instagram and other social media.

Use plural 'pictures' to match general action and change preposition 'in' to 'on' for platforms (Instagram). 'The' is unnecessary before 'picture' when speaking generally. Also remove fillers. This corrects preposition and article usage and uses natural collocation.

× I'm one of the popular content creation in my uh, uh, in my childhood.

✓ I was a popular content creator in my childhood.

'Content creation' is a noun phrase meaning the activity; the correct noun for a person is 'content creator'. Use past tense 'was' to match 'in my childhood'. Remove fillers and redundant phrases. Also use 'a' before the singular noun.

× I love is, I, I prefer both the views, uh, umm, as compared to, uh, urban areas, rural areas, uh, most, uh, scenery we can able to see different types of plants and animals and uh, uh, uh, mountains and yields.

✓ I love both urban and rural views, but in rural areas we can see more types of plants, animals, mountains, and fields.

Original sentence has disfluency and incorrect structure. Remove fillers and redundant phrases. 'Prefer both the views' is awkward; say 'love both urban and rural views'. 'As compared to' is unnecessary. 'We can able to see' is wrong—use 'we can see' or 'we are able to see'. 'Yields' is incorrect for fields or crops; use 'fields' or 'farmland'. This correction streamlines meaning and fixes verb usage and noun choice.

× Asaf night, uh, no, I never uh, went to other countries, but I have a dream to uh, visit, uh and uh, I have to watch the scenery views as of now, I was uh, in my country.

✓ No, I have never been to other countries, but I dream of visiting them; for now, I have been staying in my country.

Use present perfect 'have never been' to express life experience up to now, not simple past 'went'. 'I have a dream to visit' is better as 'I dream of visiting'. 'I have to watch the scenery views' is unclear; replace with 'visit them' and 'for now, I have been staying in my country' to express current situation. Remove fillers and fix verb tense and collocation.

× I love to move in my country.

✓ I like to travel around my country.

'Love to move' is unnatural; 'travel around' or 'move around' is more idiomatic. Use present tense 'like' or 'love' consistently. The corrected phrase clarifies the intended meaning of exploring within one's country.