Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar, and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence responding directly, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb tense and noun usage, avoid unclear names/phrases (e.g. "Peter", "MO"). Keep answers to no more than five sentences.

例: Yes, I do. I love photographing different views when I travel because photos help me remember special moments. For example, I often capture sunsets by the sea or busy city streets, which each have a unique mood. Also, I enjoy experimenting with angles and light to show the character of a place.

提案: Make the contrast clear and reduce hesitation. Begin with a concise topic sentence stating your preference or that it depends, then give specific examples and linking words (e.g., "however", "on the other hand"). Correct grammar ("depends", "sometimes") and use clear nouns ("village" or "rural area" instead of "rural wheel").

例: It depends on my mood. If I want peace and fresh air, I prefer rural scenes, such as a village surrounded by trees and wildflowers, because they feel calm and natural. However, when I want energy and variety, I choose urban views like colorful markets or skyline shots.

提案: Be more specific and fluent. Start with a direct statement of preference, then explain why with concrete details and a linking word. Avoid repetitions and fillers. Use correct verb forms ("I'm always excited", "I appreciate").

例: I usually prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering unfamiliar landscapes and plants. For instance, seeing exotic flowers or unique architecture makes my trips memorable, and I often photograph these scenes to remember the experience.

× I loved capturing that picture when I travel because I think Peter can help me remember the MO, the special moment.

✓ I love capturing pictures when I travel because I think photos can help me remember the moment.

The original mixes past tense 'loved' with present 'travel' and incorrectly uses 'Peter' and 'MO'. Use present simple 'I love' to match habitual action 'when I travel'. 'Pictures' plural is natural. 'Photos' is clearer than 'Peter' (likely typo) and 'the moment' replaces unclear 'MO, the special moment'. Suggestion: keep consistent tense for habitual activities and use clear nouns.

× And also I love taking photo with the different views because each view is have a different character and.

✓ I also love taking photos of different views because each view has a different character.

Use plural 'photos' for general activities. Use preposition 'of' not 'with' to describe photographing views. 'Is have' is incorrect: use 'has' (present simple third-person singular). Remove trailing 'and'. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and correct prepositions: 'each view has'.

× It's depend on my mood at that time.

✓ It depends on my mood at that time.

Subject 'It' requires third-person singular verb 'depends' not 'depend'. Use present simple for general preferences. Suggestion: apply subject-verb agreement in present tense.

× Uh, sometime if I feel refreshing I always prefer taking a photo of a rural wheel is surrounding with the trees, flower and nature.

✓ Sometimes, if I feel refreshed, I prefer taking photos of rural areas surrounded by trees, flowers, and nature.

Use 'Sometimes' (adverb) and adjective 'refreshed' to describe feeling. Remove 'always' because it conflicts with 'sometimes'. 'Rural wheel' is likely wrong; use 'rural areas'. Use plural 'photos'. Use passive adjective 'surrounded by' for surroundings. List items use plural 'flowers'. Suggestion: choose correct adjectives for feelings, correct nouns, and proper prepositional phrase 'surrounded by'.

× But if sometime I feel messy.

✓ But sometimes I feel messy, so I prefer urban scenes instead.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a main clause. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'Feel messy' is informal; add result clause to complete thought. Suggestion: avoid fragments by completing the idea with a consequence.

× I always excited when I travel to another country and when I see the scenery and the and, and, uh, some beautiful flowers, I really appreciate that.

✓ I am always excited when I travel to another country, and when I see the scenery and some beautiful flowers, I really appreciate them.

Use 'am' to form 'I am always excited' (present simple with adjective). Remove repeated filler words. 'Appreciate that' is vague; use 'appreciate them' referring to scenery and flowers. Suggestion: include correct form of 'to be' and clear pronoun reference.

× And also, uh, I think it's real. It's a good experience to.

✓ Also, I think it's real; it's a good experience.

Original contains a fragment 'It's a good experience to.' which lacks an infinitive completion. Replace with complete sentence 'It's a good experience.' 'It's real' is unclear; keep 'I think it's real' optional. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and finish thoughts fully.