Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and use clearer structure: start with a topic sentence, then add one or two specific details with linking words. Correct collocations (e.g., "outdoor spaces" or "landscapes") and avoid repetition. Also watch word order and article use.

例: Yes, I love taking pictures, especially of wildlife and landscapes. For example, photographing big mountains or birds in their habitat helps me relax and reduces stress, so I often go out to calm my mind.

提案: Answer directly and stay on topic. Begin with a clear statement of preference, give one or two specific reasons using linking words, and avoid filler phrases and unrelated comments about speaking. Use correct nouns and adjectives (e.g., "the atmosphere is cleaner").

例: I mostly prefer urban views because the air and public spaces are usually cleaner and more lively. For example, city parks and riversides offer interesting buildings and well-kept scenery that I enjoy photographing.

提案: Be specific and use correct grammar. State preference clearly, give reasons with specific details and use linking words (e.g., "because"/"therefore"). Avoid vague or incorrect phrases like "my account" and repeat fewer words.

例: I prefer views in other countries because many places in my country have heavy industry and pollution, which spoils the scenery. Therefore I like visiting cleaner countries, such as Kazakhstan, where the air and landscapes feel much fresher.

× Yes, I love taking pictures, especially wildlife because when I take a picture outdoor space, for example, big mountains, I get rid of stress and I feel calm, so I love it.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures, especially of wildlife and outdoor scenes, for example big mountains; it helps me relieve stress and feel calm, so I really enjoy it.

The original sentence had issues with noun phrases and verb forms. Use 'taking pictures of' not 'taking pictures, especially wildlife' to link object correctly (problem type 8: verb + -ing form used with correct preposition). 'Outdoor space' is awkward; 'outdoor scenes' or 'the outdoors' is natural. 'Get rid of stress' is colloquial; use 'relieve stress'. Also combine clauses for clarity and natural flow. Suggestion: use correct prepositions after 'taking pictures' and prefer natural collocations like 'relieve stress' and 'the outdoors'.

× It's a good question. I mostly prefer urban areas because atmosphere is very clean.

✓ It's a good question. I mostly prefer urban areas because the atmosphere is very clean.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'atmosphere' makes the sentence sound unnatural (problem type 13: incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs and 17: definite article error). Use 'the atmosphere' to refer to a specific general environment. Also 'mostly prefer' is acceptable but could be 'I generally prefer'. Suggestion: include 'the' when referring to a particular atmosphere.

× And how can I say I don't know what I'm saying, just I can say different type of things because speaking is important, doesn't matter what topic are you speaking.

✓ I'm not always sure how to express myself; I sometimes say different things, but speaking is important regardless of the topic.

The original is ungrammatical and has wrong word order and awkward phrasing (problem type 26: sentence structure errors). 'Doesn't matter what topic are you speaking' has incorrect word order; correct is 'regardless of the topic' or 'no matter what the topic is.' Also 'different type of things' should be 'different things' or 'different types of things.' Suggestion: simplify clauses, use 'regardless of' for 'doesn't matter', and maintain subject-verb order.

× Mostly I prefer to other countries atmosphere because my account there are lots of factories in my countries and there is there are no any good atmosphere.

✓ Mostly I prefer the atmosphere in other countries because in my country there are lots of factories and there is not a good atmosphere.

Multiple preposition and article errors (problem type 11). 'Prefer to other countries atmosphere' should be 'prefer the atmosphere in other countries.' 'My account' is incorrect; likely 'in my country.' 'There are no any good atmosphere' is ungrammatical: use 'there is not a good atmosphere' or 'there is no good atmosphere.' Also ensure singular/plural agreement: 'country' singular if referring to one. Suggestion: use 'prefer X in Y' structure, use 'in my country' not 'my account', and avoid 'no any'—use 'no' or 'not a'.

× So mostly I prefer other country. Especially Kazakhstan is very clean atmosphere.

✓ So mostly I prefer other countries. Especially, Kazakhstan has a very clean atmosphere.

'Other country' should be plural 'other countries' if speaking generally (problem type 1: singular and plural issue). The second sentence needs rephrasing: 'Kazakhstan is very clean atmosphere' is incorrect—use 'Kazakhstan has a very clean atmosphere' or 'The atmosphere in Kazakhstan is very clean.' Suggestion: ensure noun-number agreement when speaking generally ('other countries') and use 'have/has' to link a country with 'atmosphere'.