Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce fillers (uh, um), avoid repetition ("sunset, sunset") and correct word choice ("college" → likely "color" or "climate/locale"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep to under five sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different landscapes because it helps me relax and lifts my mood. For example, I often capture sunsets and coastal views when I travel, because the warm colors and gentle waves create a very calming atmosphere.

提案: Remove repeated words ("I I"), avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like "But" unnecessarily, and structure answer with a topic sentence followed by a clear reason and one specific example. Use linking words (however, because, therefore) to improve coherence.

例: I like both urban and rural views, but since I live in a city I usually photograph streets and historic buildings. However, in summer I prefer the countryside because I was raised surrounded by nature and enjoy capturing fields and forests.

提案: Remove filler (Umm), avoid redundant phrases ("such as such as"), and be more concise. Provide a clear topic sentence then one or two specific future plans or examples. Use precise vocabulary ("natural places" instead of "natural play places").

例: It doesn't matter to me whether the views are local or abroad because every country has unique landscapes, so I enjoy both. In the future, I plan to travel more to photograph mountains, coastlines and national parks to build a diverse portfolio.

× Yes, I enjoy capturing pictures of different landscapes because it helps me relax and improves my mood.

✓ Yes, I enjoy capturing pictures of different landscapes because they help me relax and improve my mood.

The pronoun 'it' is singular but refers to plural 'pictures/landscapes'; use 'they'. Also keep parallel verbs: 'help' and 'improve' should both be base form to agree with plural subject. Suggestion: ensure subject-pronoun agreement and maintain parallel verb forms.

× Uh, For instance, I like photographing sunset, sunset views and uh, coastal views when I travel, uh, because the college and atmosphere are very calming.

✓ For instance, I like photographing sunsets, sunset views and coastal views when I travel, because the color and atmosphere are very calming.

Use plural 'sunsets' when speaking generally. 'College' is incorrect contextually; likely intended 'colour' or 'color' — corrected to 'color'. Remove unnecessary filler 'uh' and capitalize only at sentence start. Suggestion: choose the correct noun ('color'/'colour') and use plurals for general preferences.

× I enjoy both cityscapes and countryside views, but because I live in a city I usually photograph open scenes such as streets and historic buildings.

✓ I enjoy both cityscapes and countryside views, but because I live in a city I usually photograph open scenes such as streets and historic buildings.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It uses present simple correctly for habitual actions. Suggestion: maintain clarity and commas for pauses if desired.

× But in summer I prefer photographing the countryside because I I was born and raised in nature so I love natural landscape.

✓ But in summer I prefer photographing the countryside because I was born and raised in a natural environment, so I love natural landscapes.

Remove duplicate 'I'. 'Born and raised in nature' is awkward; 'born and raised in a natural environment' is clearer. Use plural 'landscapes' to match general preference. Add a comma before 'so' to separate clauses. Suggestion: avoid repetition and choose idiomatic phrases like 'natural environment' and pluralize general nouns.

× Umm for me, it doesn't matter whether the views are in my own country or abroad because every country has its own unique and diverse landscapes, so I prefer both.

✓ For me, it doesn't matter whether the views are in my own country or abroad because every country has its own unique and diverse landscapes, so I like both.

Change 'Umm' to nothing in formal speech; 'prefer both' is slightly odd after saying 'doesn't matter' — 'like both' is more natural. The sentence is otherwise correct. Suggestion: avoid filler words and choose verbs that match the intended meaning.

× And in the future, I want to travel more and take pictures of natural play places like such as mountains and coastlines and national parks.

✓ In the future, I want to travel more and take pictures of natural places such as mountains, coastlines, and national parks.

Remove redundant 'and' at sentence start and redundant 'play places' and duplicate 'like such as'. Use 'natural places' and the phrase 'such as' (not 'like such as'). Add commas in a list. Suggestion: avoid redundancy and use standard list punctuation.