Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), and use precise vocabulary. Add one specific example to support your answer and use a linking word if necessary. Keep to max 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photographs of different views. For example, I often photograph sunsets at the seafront because the changing colors create dramatic silhouettes and reflections. I also like capturing quiet rural landscapes, which feel peaceful and visually interesting.

提案: Avoid fillers and repetition; use a clear topic sentence and give specific reasons with concise linking words (for example, because / since). Correct collocations (e.g., "more green" -> "greener") and avoid vague endings. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer rural views because they are generally greener and much calmer than cities. For example, open fields and small villages offer unobstructed landscapes, whereas tall buildings in urban areas often block natural scenery.

提案: Make the response more fluent and specific: state your preference clearly, give concise reasons and a specific example, and remove fillers. Use linking words (because / therefore / for example) to connect ideas. Keep within 2–3 sentences.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I want to discover landscapes and cultures I haven't seen before. For instance, I would love to photograph traditional villages in Japan and colorful markets in Morocco to experience different architecture and daily life.

× I like to capture the pictures of different moments which I am, uh, viewing at a time, like a serene landscape or a sunset or a green view.

✓ I like capturing pictures of different moments I am viewing at a time, like a serene landscape, a sunset, or a green scene.

Use of verb + -ing (gerund) is more natural after 'like' when describing general preferences: 'like capturing' rather than 'like to capture the pictures of'. Also remove the article before 'pictures' when speaking generally and simplify the relative clause 'which I am viewing at a time' to 'I am viewing at a time' or omit 'at a time'. Replace 'green view' with the more idiomatic 'green scene'. Ensure commas in a list are used correctly.

× To be very honest, UH, I will prefer the rural areas more because they are more greener and calmer as compared to the urban ones.

✓ To be very honest, I prefer rural areas because they are greener and calmer compared to urban ones.

'Prefer' expressing a general preference should be in simple present, not 'will prefer'. 'More greener' is incorrect because 'greener' already indicates comparison; do not add 'more'. 'The rural areas' and 'the urban ones' are wordy—use 'rural areas' and 'urban ones'. Remove filler 'UH' and 'as' in 'as compared to' to be concise.

× In the cities, the long buildings and the high high structures hide all the beauty of the nature and the beautiful.

✓ In cities, tall buildings and large structures hide the beauty of nature.

Sentence is repetitive and awkward ('high high structures', 'the beauty of the nature and the beautiful'). Simplify noun phrases: 'tall buildings and large structures' and idiomatic 'the beauty of nature'. Remove duplicate words and unnecessary articles to fix sentence structure.

× I prefer views in other countries because I already have seen many things in my country, so I want to explore more in the foreign countries.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I have already seen many things in my country, so I want to explore more in foreign countries.

Use present perfect 'have already seen' for life experiences. Avoid 'the foreign countries'—use 'foreign countries' without 'the'. Also move 'already' to natural position after 'have'. Keep parallel structure: 'explore more in foreign countries'.

× Also, I love to uh visit in different cultural areas and see different people.

✓ Also, I love to visit different cultural areas and meet different people.

'Visit' does not take the preposition 'in' when followed by the destination; say 'visit different areas'. Use 'meet' rather than 'see' when referring to encountering people in a cultural context. Remove filler 'uh'.