Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitations and filler words (uh, umm). Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repetition (e.g., avoid saying "countryside area" multiple times).

例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, when I visit the countryside I often photograph the lush green trees and rolling fields because they create peaceful, memorable scenes. I take pictures to remember those moments and to share the view with friends later.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repeating phrases. State your preference clearly (or explain why it depends), then give specific reasons and one example. Use linking words (however, because, for example) to make your response coherent and logical.

例: It depends, but I generally prefer rural views because they are more original and unspoilt. For example, old towns and countryside villages often have traditional buildings and natural scenery that you rarely see in cities, so they make more interesting photos.

提案: Give a clear, direct topic sentence stating your stance, then support it with a specific explanation and example. Avoid repeating words and filler sounds. Use linking language like "however" or "for example" to clarify your point about what matters to you (location, light, or company).

例: I don't prefer one country over another; what matters most is the landscape. For example, whether I'm at home or abroad, I'll photograph dramatic coastlines or interesting architecture, especially when the light is good or I'm sharing the moment with friends.

× Definitely, I love to capture pictures.

✓ Definitely, I love to take pictures.

The verb phrase 'capture pictures' is not incorrect grammatically but is less natural; 'take pictures' is the common collocation. This is a word choice/pronounal collocation issue rather than a grammatical error; use the common verb 'take' with 'pictures' for natural speech.

× SO1 debut is uh, very scenic, uh, especially when I went to countryside area, the lush green trees and the beauty of the, uh, countryside area I always admire and I love to take pictures to create as a memory and umm.

✓ The sunrise there was very scenic, especially when I went to the countryside. I always admire the lush green trees and the beauty of the countryside, and I love to take pictures to keep as memories.

Multiple sentence structure problems: unclear phrase 'SO1 debut' and run-on sentence. Replaced with a clear subject ('The sunrise there') and corrected 'went to countryside area' to 'went to the countryside' (article and noun phrase). Added conjunctions and commas to separate ideas and changed 'create as a memory' to 'keep as memories' for natural phrasing.

× Well, it depends on my preference when I visit the countryside area or we can say rural areas.

✓ Well, it depends on my preference when I visit the countryside, or we can say rural areas.

Use of the article 'the' with 'countryside' is acceptable, but 'countryside area' is redundant. Correct phrasing is 'visit the countryside' or 'visit rural areas'. Simplify to avoid redundancy and use correct collocation.

× There are also some picture queue scenes over there because the first first thing is that rural areas are underdeveloped and there are more original views of old towns, old cities.

✓ There are also many picturesque scenes there because, firstly, rural areas are less developed and have more authentic views of old towns and cities.

'picture queue scenes' is an incorrect phrase; use 'picturesque scenes'. 'First first' is repetition; use 'firstly'. 'Underdeveloped' is acceptable but 'less developed' sounds more natural here. 'Original views' should be 'authentic views'. Corrected word choices and clarified sentence structure.

× To be honest, I love to take pictures.

✓ To be honest, I love taking pictures.

Both forms are grammatically acceptable, but 'love taking pictures' is more natural in continuous/habitual contexts. Changed to gerund form for natural expression.

× I don't have any personal preference with any country, but uh, the location matters to me.

✓ I don't have any personal preference for any country, but the location matters to me.

Use 'preference for' rather than 'preference with'. Preposition 'for' correctly collocates with 'preference'.

× Wherever I find it a good landscape, I always click a picture and preserve it as a memory.

✓ Whenever I find a good landscape, I always take a picture and keep it as a memory.

'Wherever I find it a good landscape' is ungrammatical; use 'Whenever I find a good landscape' or 'Whenever I see a good landscape'. 'Click a picture' is informal; 'take a picture' is more natural. 'Preserve it as a memory' changed to 'keep it as a memory' for natural phrasing.

× It depends on the landscape is uh, landscapes and the quality of time I am spending.

✓ It depends on the landscape and on the quality of the time I am spending.

Original sentence has a broken structure 'depends on the landscape is uh, landscapes'. Correct structure is 'depends on X and on Y'. Clarified 'the quality of time I am spending' to keep original meaning; could also be 'the quality of the time I spend'.