Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your response more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce fillers (uh, um), correct grammar (e.g. “taking pictures” not “to taking picture”), and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Aim for natural phrasing and varied vocabulary like “vivid colours,” “golden hour,” or “compose.”

例: Yes — I love taking pictures of different views. I especially enjoy photographing sunrises and sunsets because the golden hour creates vivid colours and dramatic light. For example, I often go to the waterfront at dawn to capture reflections and silhouettes, which makes my photos look more artistic.

提案: Respond directly and correct contradictions. Start with a clear preference or state neutrality, avoid repetition and fillers, and provide specific reasons with linking words. Fix unclear phrases (e.g. “I live in the city, umm, in rural areas” is contradicting).

例: I don't have a strong preference between urban and rural views because both offer different opportunities. For instance, cities provide striking architecture and lively street scenes, while rural areas and my hometown beach offer peaceful landscapes and wide horizons that are great for long walks and photography.

提案: Be clearer and more confident: open with a direct statement, reduce hesitations, and explain reasons with specific examples. Replace vague phrases like “I saw everything” with precise ideas (e.g. “I've seen most of the famous sites here”), and use linking words such as “however” or “therefore” correctly.

例: I don't mind whether a view is in my country or abroad, as long as it's beautiful. However, since I've already visited many famous places at home, I'm currently more interested in exploring landscapes abroad — for example, I would love to photograph the dramatic coastlines in Portugal or the mountain scenery in New Zealand.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures a lot Uh, actually it's just one of my hobbies, especially I like to taking picture of the sunset or sunrise.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures a lot. Actually, it's one of my hobbies; especially, I like taking pictures of the sunset or sunrise.

The phrase 'to taking' is incorrect because after 'like' we use the -ing form without 'to' (like taking). Also 'picture' should be plural 'pictures' to match 'taking' and general usage. Improve by removing 'to' before the -ing verb and by making the noun plural when referring to multiple photos.

× It makes it really pretty colors, uh, and uh, also, uh, in the when if you look in my phone, I have a lot of pictures that I see art in them.

✓ They produce really pretty colors, and if you look at my phone, you will see many pictures that I consider art.

The original mixes singular/plural and awkward phrasing. 'It makes it really pretty colors' is incorrect; 'they produce really pretty colors' correctly matches plural 'sunset or sunrise' or 'pictures' producing colors. 'in the when if you look in my phone' is ungrammatical; correct preposition is 'look at my phone.' 'a lot of' can be 'many' and 'that I see art in them' should be 'that I consider art.' Suggest clearer subject-verb agreement and correct prepositions.

× Uh, actually it doesn't matter for me, however, uh, I live in the city, umm, in rural areas.

✓ Actually, it doesn't matter to me whether the view is in the city or in rural areas.

The phrase 'matter for me' is less natural than 'matter to me.' Also the original sentence contradicts 'I live in the city, in rural areas.' Recast to express both options: 'whether the view is in the city or in rural areas.' This corrects preposition use and clarity.

× So, uh, for me, umm, I have a beach in my hometown where I live and for me it's uh, taking, uh, taking a walk step with the pretty view.

✓ For example, there is a beach near my hometown, and I enjoy taking walks there to enjoy the pretty views.

Original has redundant and awkward fragments ('for me' repeated, 'taking a walk step'). Restructure the sentence: use 'there is a beach' and 'I enjoy taking walks' with plural 'views.' This fixes sentence structure and word choice.

× It's umm, also great for me and.

✓ It's also great for me.

The original ends with an incomplete conjunction 'and.' Remove the extraneous conjunction and filler to make a complete sentence.

× Uh, whenever the view is pretty, I'm down with that.

✓ Whenever the view is pretty, I'm fine with that.

'Down with that' is informal slang; replace with 'fine with that' for neutral spoken response. No grammatical preposition error remains, but wording is improved for clarity.

× However, uh, I think that, uh, in my home country, I saw everything.

✓ However, I feel I have already seen most places in my home country.

'I saw everything' is a simple past that sounds absolute and likely untrue. 'I have already seen most places' uses present perfect to link past experience to the present and is more natural English. It corrects tense and makes the meaning precise.

× For me, it's more interested right now to look the views, umm, in another country actually.

✓ Right now, I'm more interested in seeing views in other countries.

'It's more interested' incorrectly makes 'it' the subject and uses adjective 'interested' wrongly; the speaker should say 'I'm more interested.' Also 'to look the views' is incorrect; use 'seeing views' or 'looking at views' and 'in another country' should be plural 'other countries' to match general interest. This corrects subject, verb, and preposition usage.