Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce hesitation words (umm), be more specific and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two concrete details using a linking word. Also vary vocabulary (e.g., landscapes, close-ups, wide shots) and avoid repeating the same phrase.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially landscapes. For example, I often take wide shots of mountain ranges and close-up photos of flowers to capture color and texture.

提案: Good direct answer and reason. Improve by using a linking word to connect ideas and add a specific example to make it more vivid. Remove filler words and use slightly richer vocabulary (e.g., tranquil, pastoral, wildlife).

例: I prefer rural views because I find them more tranquil than busy cityscapes. For instance, I love photographing pastoral fields and local wildlife, such as birds and butterflies, which create peaceful scenes.

提案: Fix pronunciation/word choice errors ("reviews" → "views") and reduce hesitations. State the preference directly, then give specific reasons and an example. Avoid broad comparative claims without support; instead compare specific features like tropical flora and colors.

例: I prefer views in my own country because the Philippines has vibrant tropical landscapes. For example, its colorful orchids, lush rainforests and bright coastal scenes offer more striking colors and diversity than places with cooler climates.

× I prefer reviews in my country because I believe that umm, Philippines is uh, very vibrant since it's a tropical country and umm, the plants and nature here is a more colorful than other countries.

✓ I prefer views in my country because I believe that the Philippines is very vibrant since it's a tropical country, and the plants and nature here are more colorful than in other countries.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'reviews' is the wrong word and should be 'views' (word choice, treated as pronoun/word error here). 'Philippines' as a country name requires the definite article 'the Philippines' (Article errors, ID 22, but corrected under pronoun/context). 'The plants and nature here is' is incorrect subject-verb agreement; the plural subject 'plants and nature' requires 'are' (Subject-verb agreement, ID 27). 'a more colorful than other countries' is incorrect: 'more colorful than in other countries' is the correct comparative structure and removes the unnecessary article 'a'. Suggestion: use 'the Philippines', use plural verb 'are' with plural subjects, use 'views' not 'reviews', and form comparisons as 'more ... than in other countries'.

× I prefer views in rural areas because I like nature more than city lights.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because I like nature more than city lights.

No grammatical change needed for this sentence; however, note that 'city lights' is a plural noun phrase and contrasts correctly with 'nature'. This entry is included only to indicate no correction was required; keep contrast structure as is.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views, umm, landscapes and sometimes portraits of umm nature, umm, plants, something like that.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views, such as landscapes and sometimes portraits of nature and plants.

The original uses filler 'umm' and a slightly awkward list. 'Taking pictures' is a correct present participle usage. The correction improves clarity and flow by removing fillers and using 'such as' to introduce examples. Keep the present participle 'taking' as it fits the question about habits/preferences (present simple present meaning).

× I enjoy calm, natural and umm, fresh views of plants, animals and flowers.

✓ I enjoy calm, natural, and fresh views of plants, animals, and flowers.

This sentence is grammatically correct in tense, but punctuation and parallelism improve clarity. Including commas in a list and removing filler 'umm' makes the sentence clearer. The present simple 'I enjoy' correctly expresses a habitual preference.