Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and reduce fillers (umm, uh). Start with a clear topic sentence, then briefly give one or two specific reasons or an example. Keep answers concise (max 3–4 sentences) and use varied vocabulary like "preserve memories," "relive moments," or "scenic shots."

例: Yes, I love taking photos of different views because they help preserve memories and let me relive special moments. For example, I often photograph sunsets and city skylines so I can remember the atmosphere and colors later.

提案: Correct vocabulary and avoid incorrect words ("bake" is wrong). Use a clear topic sentence: state preference, give 1–2 specific reasons with linking words (because, for example), and a short, grammatically correct example. Watch verb tense and sentence completion.

例: I prefer rural views because the countryside feels more open and peaceful, which helps me relax. For example, last autumn I spent a weekend in a village and watched a vivid sunset that made me feel restored.

提案: Be specific and accurate: name the comparison clearly and fix grammar ("as compared to my country" is unclear). Reduce fillers and repetition ("scenery and views", "view scenic view"). Use one clear reason and a concrete detail. Use correct sentence structure and article usage.

例: I prefer the views in Australia to those in my home country because Canberra has breathtaking scenery nearby. For instance, when I step outside I can see beautiful mountains and rolling hills, which I really enjoy photographing.

× 'I love taking pictures of different views and the places I visit because I think it, umm, is really helpful for us to, uh, capture a memory and we are actually, uh, reliving it when we look back at the pictures.'

✓ 'I love taking pictures of different views and the places I visit because I think it is really helpful for us to capture memories and we are actually reliving them when we look back at the pictures.'

'taking' is correct but 'a memory' should be plural 'memories' to match general meaning; 'it, umm, is' contains filler words—remove fillers and extra commas for clarity; pronoun 'it' referring to 'taking pictures' is acceptable but clearer to remove. Replace 'we are actually reliving it' with 'we are actually reliving them' because 'memories' is plural, so pronoun must agree.'},{

× 'For instance, last autumn I spend a weekend in the countryside and the sunset.'

✓ 'For instance, last autumn I spent a weekend in the countryside and watched the sunset.'

'spend' is present tense but the time expression 'last autumn' requires past tense 'spent'. Also the original sentence lacks a proper verb for 'the sunset'—use 'watched the sunset' to form a complete idea.'},{

× 'If I had to bake, I would bake, umm, rural areas, because I think there's something more wide open and catchy about countryside.'

✓ 'If I had to choose, I would choose rural areas, because I think there is something more wide open and appealing about the countryside.'

'bake' is incorrect word choice (not in list) but treating as article/context: replace with correct verb 'choose' (matches intended meaning). 'catchy' is informal and not appropriate for scenery; 'appealing' is better. 'about countryside' needs definite article 'the countryside.' Use contracted 'there is' or 'there's' consistently.'},{

× 'The reason here is UMM Canberra especially has breathtaking scenery and views.'

✓ 'The reason is that Canberra especially has breathtaking scenery and views.'

'The reason here is UMM Canberra especially has...' is ungrammatical because two clauses are fused; insert 'that' to introduce the clause or restructure the sentence. Remove filler 'UMM' and ensure subject 'Canberra' agrees with verb 'has.'

× 'When we just step out of our house, there are so beautiful mountains.'

✓ 'When we step out of our house, there are such beautiful mountains.'

'just' is unnecessary in this context; more importantly, English uses 'such' before adjective + noun ('such beautiful mountains') or 'so' before adjective alone ('so beautiful'). The original 'so beautiful mountains' is incorrect word order. 'We step' present simple is fine for habitual action.'},{

× 'I love to view scenic view here.'

✓ 'I love to see the scenic views here.'

'view' is a noun duplicated with 'scenic'; use 'see' or 'view' as verb plus plural 'scenic views'. Also 'here' is fine. Use plural 'views' to indicate multiple sights.'}]} Please note: there are empty items removed.