Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with brief examples. Avoid fillers and repetition. Use linking words (because, for example) to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I love taking photos of different views. I usually photograph places I visit because pictures capture memories and details I might forget. For example, when I visited a coastal town last year I took several photos of the sunrise so I could remember the colours and calm atmosphere.

提案: Give a direct answer and then contrast the two with specific details using linking words (however, while, for example). Remove hesitations and vague phrases. Provide a short preference if required.

例: I enjoy both urban and rural views, but I usually prefer urban scenery because of the interesting architecture and vibrant street life. However, I also appreciate rural views for their peaceful landscapes and natural colours; for example, I like photographing small villages and fields during golden hour.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repetition. State a preference or say you have no strong preference, then support with a specific example comparing domestic and international views. Use clearer vocabulary and a complete example sentence.

例: I don't have a strong preference because both domestic and international views can be stunning. In India, for instance, I love photographing historic architecture like the Taj Mahal for its intricate details, while abroad I enjoy capturing different cultural scenes and landscapes that offer new colours and perspectives.

× I like taking pictures of different views as whenever I go to any place I definitely take a picture of the particular place because it's a really a good thing to take pictures to have pictures because it captures a lot of memories and you remember like all the life that yeah, you have visited the places.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views, so whenever I go to a place I definitely take a picture of it because it is a really good way to capture memories and remember the places I have visited.

Run-on and redundant phrasing make the sentence unclear; also awkward repetition of 'take pictures/to have pictures'. Use 'so' to connect cause and effect. Use gerund 'taking' correctly and simplify to 'capture memories' and 'places I have visited' for clarity and correctness. Suggestion: Break long sentences into shorter clauses, avoid repetition, and use gerunds and perfect participle 'have visited' properly.

× I do prefer views in both urban areas as well as rural areas.

✓ I prefer views in both urban and rural areas.

Incorrect or redundant preposition 'in both... as well as' is awkward. Use the concise form 'both... and' to link two items. Also 'do prefer' is unnecessary for neutral statement; 'prefer' is sufficient. Suggestion: Use 'both urban and rural areas' for parallel structure.

× It depends upon location like where I am visiting because urban area has lots of, uh, good buildings, uh, big buildings and uh, kind of a mountain views, whereas rural areas are a little bit like settled kind of thing.

✓ It depends on the location I'm visiting because urban areas have many large buildings and sometimes mountain views, whereas rural areas are more settled.

Use simple present 'depends' with correct preposition 'on'. Maintain subject-verb agreement: 'urban areas have' not 'urban area has'. Remove filler words and use plural consistency. 'Kind of a mountain views' is ungrammatical; use 'sometimes mountain views' or 'some mountain views'. Suggestion: Keep tense consistent, use correct prepositions, and ensure plural forms match verbs.

× Actually, everything is beautiful. You know, I, I love, I love using my country all the, all the way. I also love using another country.

✓ Actually, everything is beautiful. I love my country very much. I also love other countries.

Incorrect verb 'using' is used instead of 'loving' or 'visiting', and awkward article phrase 'all the way' is incorrect here. Replace 'using' with appropriate verbs and use plural 'other countries'. Suggestion: Choose precise verbs ('love', 'visit') and correct noun phrases; avoid unnecessary fillers.

× So as I mentioned earlier and the previous question that it depends upon the place I'm visiting.

✓ As I mentioned earlier, it depends on the place I'm visiting.

Unnecessary words 'and the previous question that' create an awkward structure. Use 'As I mentioned earlier' and then the main clause. Use correct preposition 'on'. Suggestion: Simplify sentences and remove redundant references to make statement clear.

× And of course I'm from India. In my country, the architecture is like so beautiful. For example, the Taj Mahal in Agra is like beautifully.

✓ Of course I am from India. In my country the architecture is very beautiful. For example, the Taj Mahal in Agra is beautiful.

Incorrect use of filler 'like' and wrong form 'beautifully' (an adverb) used instead of adjective 'beautiful'. Use 'very beautiful' or simply 'beautiful'. Remove unnecessary 'like'. Suggestion: Use correct adjective forms to describe nouns and avoid filler words like 'like'.