Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words and repetition, and add one specific detail using a linking word. Focus on correct grammar (e.g., subject-verb agreement and verb forms).

例: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing different views when I travel because I love capturing striking landscapes. For example, on a recent trip to the coast I took photos of the cliffs at sunset, which highlighted the colours and textures.

提案: Give one clear preference with a concise reason, avoid contradicting statements and fillers. Use linking words (however, because) to compare urban and rural views, and provide a specific example to support your view.

例: I prefer rural views because I find green, open spaces more relaxing and photogenic. For instance, when I visit my village I photograph rice fields and tree-lined paths, whereas urban views tend to be more about architecture and busy streets.

提案: Answer directly and give a specific reason and example. Remove unnecessary hesitation and clarify meaning (e.g., say you prefer local views for convenience or familiarity). Use one linking phrase (because/so) to connect idea and example.

例: I prefer views in my own country because they are familiar and easy to visit, which helps me relax. For example, I often go to a nearby lake to watch sunsets, so I can unwind without long travel.

× The breathtaking views also always catching my eyes and I really love taking those pictures of beautiful views.

✓ The breathtaking views also always catch my eye, and I really love taking those pictures of beautiful views.

The original uses 'catching' which is a present participle, not the correct finite verb for the simple present. With the subject 'views' (plural) and simple present tense, use the base verb 'catch'. Also 'eyes' can be made natural as 'my eye' in the idiom 'catch my eye'. Suggestion: use simple present 'catch' and keep subject-verb agreement.'

× I really prefer uh view beautiful views in urban areas because in rural areas there are many views I see.

✓ I really prefer beautiful views in urban areas because I see many views in rural areas.

The original has redundant and misplaced words ('uh view beautiful views') and an awkward clause order. Reordering the clause and removing filler words produces a grammatically correct sentence. Suggestion: remove fillers and place the verb 'see' with its object 'many views' after 'in rural areas' for clarity.'

× I always visit my village to see beautiful views because there is a lot of greenery there.

✓ I always visit my village to see beautiful views because there is a lot of greenery there.

This sentence is correct grammatically; no change needed. It is included to show recognition of correctness. Suggestion: none.'

× In urban areas because, uh, in urban areas because of, uh, modern.

✓ I also like urban areas because they are more modern.

The original fragment is incomplete and repetitive, with fillers and lacks a main verb. It needs a subject and verb to be a full sentence. Suggestion: state a clear reason with a subject ('they') and adjective ('modern'). Remove filler 'uh'.'

× Yes, I prefer uh, views in my country because I live here and I want to enjoy and relax as much as I can.

✓ Yes, I prefer views in my country because I live here and want to relax and enjoy as much as I can.

This sentence is largely correct but contains filler 'uh' and an unnecessary repeated auxiliary 'I' before 'want'. Removing filler and the repeated pronoun makes the sentence smoother. Suggestion: omit fillers and redundant words.'

× For example, I really don't want to go there, uh, different country to see uh, views, so I want in my country.

✓ For example, I really don't want to go to a different country to see views, so I want to stay in my country.

The original misorders prepositions and articles ('go there, different country') and omits necessary preposition 'to' and article 'a'. Also 'I want in my country' is incomplete; 'stay in my country' completes the thought. Suggestion: use 'go to a different country' and 'stay in my country' to make the meaning clear and grammatically correct.'