Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (e.g., "like", "umm"), use correct tense and plural forms, and add one specific detail to support your answer. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and link ideas with simple connectors like "for example" or "also".

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I often photograph my food and interesting scenes on my way to work; for example, I like to capture dogs playing in the park and trees with flowers in bloom. I find these photos relaxing and they remind me of that walk.

提案: Correct grammar and use a clear comparison structure: give a direct topic sentence stating preference (or say you like both) then contrast with specific reasons using linking words like "whereas" or "while". Use correct verb forms and countable/uncountable nouns ("vibes" is informal—use "atmospheres" or "feelings").

例: I enjoy both urban and rural views because they offer different atmospheres. Urban areas are lively and busy, with interesting architecture and street scenes, whereas rural areas are peaceful and full of natural beauty, which helps me relax.

提案: Improve fluency and remove repetition: use one clear sentence to state your position, then support with specific contrasting reasons. Fix grammatical errors ("feel" → "feels", avoid repeating "I"). Use precise vocabulary instead of "stuff" (e.g., "landscapes, architecture, or cultural scenes").

例: I enjoy views both at home and abroad. Views in my country feel familiar and comforting because they remind me of home, while views in other countries are exciting and new, offering different landscapes, architecture, and cultural scenes to explore.

× I like both because they both giving me a different vibes and also I can absorb a different energy from the rural or urban areas.

✓ I like both because they both give me different vibes and I can also absorb different energy from rural or urban areas.

The original uses 'giving' (present participle) incorrectly; the correct finite verb is 'give' to match the subject 'they'. Also 'a different vibes' is a number agreement error (see plural issue) so 'different vibes' is correct. Reorder 'also' to flow naturally: 'I can also absorb'. Use 'rural or urban areas' without 'the' for general reference.

× I like to take a picture of my food sometimes and the environment.

✓ I like to take pictures of my food sometimes and of the environment.

The noun 'picture' should be plural when speaking of a habitual action involving multiple instances: 'take pictures'. Also add 'of' before 'the environment' for parallel structure: 'take pictures of my food and of the environment.'

× For example when I walk to my work and I see there's like umm dogs in the park or maybe when I pass by some parks and I saw like. Trees or flower blooming.

✓ For example, when I walk to work I see dogs in the park, or when I pass by some parks I see trees or flowers blooming.

The sentence mixes present tense ('walk', 'see') with an incorrect past form 'saw'. Maintain present tense for habitual actions: use 'see' instead of 'saw'. Also correct 'flower' to plural 'flowers' to match 'trees' and 'blooming', and remove unnecessary filler. Use 'walk to work' (no 'my') for natural phrasing.

× but in different country I can feel like I I can see a lot more different stuff that I can see in my country.

✓ but in a different country I can see a lot more different things than I can see in my country.

Missing article: 'a different country' is needed. Duplicate pronoun 'I I' must be reduced to one 'I'. 'Stuff' is informal; use 'things'. Use comparative structure 'more ... than' rather than 'that' to compare: 'a lot more different things than I can see in my country.'

× Yes I do. I like to take a picture of my food sometimes and the environment.

✓ Yes, I do. I like to take pictures of my food sometimes and of the environment.

Although 'I like' is correct, the original had a related plural issue for 'picture(s)'. This entry highlights that verbs with third person singular subjects require 's' — not applicable here, so no verb change needed; keep 'I like' but correct the noun number and parallel 'of' structure as above.