Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organized: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, you know), and limit to up to 4–5 well-linked sentences. Add one specific example and use linking words (for example, moreover) to make the answer coherent.

例: I enjoy photographing landscapes, especially in rural areas where nature is more visible. For example, on a recent mountain trek I captured sunrise views and layered peaks that looked dramatic. Moreover, coastal areas interest me because beaches offer wide seascapes and interesting light.

提案: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and give two concise reasons using linking words. Remove repetitions and correct small grammatical errors (e.g., "takes the lead" → "take the lead").

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones because they offer clearer natural scenery and less visual clutter. For instance, during hikes I can see mountain ranges and diverse wildlife, whereas cities mainly provide buildings and traffic noise.

提案: Be decisive and coherent: give a clear preference and justify it with specific reasons or an example. Avoid contradictory phrases and filler language. Use one linking word (however, although) to contrast if needed.

例: I prefer views in countries with unspoiled nature, whether at home or abroad. For example, although I enjoy my country's scenery, I would choose hiking in Australia because its coastal cliffs and clear air offer unique photographic opportunities.

× Yes, I like photographing landscapes and for me, uh, rural area is the best area where you can take the photos and, uh, or when you are on a hike or you are on a mountain trek, you can see mountains there.

✓ Yes, I like photographing landscapes and, for me, rural areas are the best places to take photos. When you are on a hike or on a mountain trek, you can see the mountains.

Incorrect use of singular/plural nouns and prepositions: 'rural area is the best area' is awkward and should be plural 'rural areas are the best places' to match general meaning. 'take the photos' is better as 'take photos' (no definite article). Also streamline 'on a hike or you are on a mountain trek' to 'on a hike or on a mountain trek' to correct preposition repetition and parallel structure. Suggest using plural nouns for general statements and consistent prepositions.

× And when you go in the coastal area, you can see beaches and other aspects of nature, you know, So I like photographing.

✓ And when you go to the coastal areas, you can see beaches and other aspects of nature, so I like photographing.

Singular/plural and preposition choice: 'go in the coastal area' is incorrect; use 'go to the coastal areas' for general reference. Capitalization of 'So' mid-sentence corrected to lowercase. Use plural 'areas' to match general statement.

× Yes, I do like both the areas and I prefer, but I prefer views in rural areas because when you are in a on a mountain trek or on a hiking trip, so you you get to see mountains, you get to see nature very clearly, which you can't see in urban area.

✓ Yes, I like both kinds of areas, but I prefer views in rural areas because when you are on a mountain trek or on a hiking trip you get to see mountains and nature very clearly, which you can't see in urban areas.

Pronoun and redundancy errors: 'do like both the areas and I prefer, but I prefer' is redundant; change to 'I like both kinds of areas, but I prefer'. Remove duplicate 'you'. Use plural 'urban areas' for consistency. Also remove unnecessary 'so' and fix article usage 'in a on a' to 'on a'.

× But yeah, rural areas for me takes the lead here.

✓ But yeah, rural areas, for me, take the lead here.

Subject-verb agreement and article/phrase placement: 'rural areas' is plural so the verb should be 'take' not 'takes'. Comma added around 'for me' for clarity. This fixes number agreement and improves flow.

× I like views in my country, but to be very fair, I like views and areas where nature is clear and, you know, there is no pollution.

✓ I like views in my country, but to be fair, I prefer places where nature is clear and there is no pollution.

Tense and word choice: 'to be very fair' is unnatural; use 'to be fair'. 'I like views and areas' is repetitive — 'I prefer places' is more natural. Maintain present simple 'prefer' for current preference.

× You are on hiking trip with your friends in, you know, Australia.

✓ You are on a hiking trip with your friends in Australia.

Missing article and awkward phrasing: 'on hiking trip' needs the article 'a' — 'on a hiking trip'. Remove unnecessary 'you know' for clarity. Place country name without extra commas.

× So yeah, I like views outside my country, not in my country.

✓ So yeah, I like views outside my country more than those in my country.

Comparative clarity and tense: Original is understandable but repetitive. Use comparative phrasing 'more than those in my country' to clearly express preference and avoid repetition of 'in my country'.