Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more natural: start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar and tense, avoid redundancy, and add one concrete detail. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, say why photos are useful, give a specific example of a photo you took, and finish with a short result.

例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views when I travel because photos help me remember the places I visited. For example, last year I photographed the coastal landscapes in Cornwall and later made a small photo album. As a result, I can easily share memories with my friends and remember the trip's highlights.

提案: Give a clear preference or explain why you like both, use correct grammar and linking words, and provide specific details or examples. Keep answers concise (max 5 sentences) and avoid incorrect forms (e.g., use "impress me", "populous").

例: I like both urban and rural views, but for different reasons. Urban areas impress me because cities like Paris and Rome offer historic architecture and lively streets. On the other hand, rural areas appeal to me for their peaceful landscapes and fresh air, which make a nice contrast to busy cities.

提案: Make a direct, grammatically correct response and explain your reason with a specific example. Avoid unclear phrases. Use linking words like "because" and keep to 2–3 sentences: state preference, give reason, and optionally an example of a place abroad you'd like to see.

例: I prefer views in other countries because I have already visited many places in my own country and want to see something different. For example, I recently decided to travel to Japan to experience its unique landscapes and cityscapes, which I couldn't find at home.

× I prefer taking pictures of different views when I travel because they help me remember what I did on the trip. For example, I haven't photographed landscapes and city scenes and later used photos to make a small album, so share them with my friends.

✓ I prefer taking pictures of different views when I travel because they help me remember what I did on the trip. For example, I have photographed landscapes and city scenes and later used the photos to make a small album to share with my friends.

The original sentence mixes present perfect negative ('I haven't photographed') with a later past action ('and later used photos') which creates a meaning conflict. The intended meaning is likely that the student has taken photos and later used them. Use present perfect 'have photographed' to indicate past actions with present relevance, and add the definite article 'the' before 'photos'. Also combine 'to make a small album to share with my friends' for clarity and correct infinitive use.

× Well, I could prefer both. It depends on how attractive of them in my perspective.

✓ Well, I would prefer both. It depends on how attractive they are from my perspective.

'Could prefer' is incorrect here; 'would prefer' or 'can prefer' fits better — 'would prefer' expresses a general preference. 'How attractive of them' is ungrammatical: use 'how attractive they are' and 'from my perspective' is the correct prepositional phrase. The sentence also needed subject-verb agreement ('they are').

× Urban areas impressive me, especially Paris, Rome, Venice or many populace cities.

✓ Urban areas impress me, especially Paris, Rome, Venice, and many populous cities.

The original uses the adjective 'impressive' incorrectly as a verb; the correct verb is 'impress'. Also 'populace' is a noun meaning 'the people', while the adjective needed is 'populous' meaning densely populated. Add a conjunction 'and' and a comma for natural listing.

× Meanwhile rural areas are most impressive in.

✓ Meanwhile, rural areas are the most impressive to me.

The original ends with a preposition 'in' without an object and misorders elements. Rephrase to 'the most impressive to me' to provide the intended meaning. Add a comma after 'Meanwhile' for readability.

× I wanted to give up her both but I have been to many various places in my country so decide to go oversea to find out some new vision.

✓ I wanted to give up both, but I have been to many different places in my country, so I decided to go overseas to find some new sights.

Multiple problems: 'give up her both' is ungrammatical and unclear — likely intended 'give up both' (dropping 'her'). 'Many various' is redundant; use 'many different' or just 'various'. Tense consistency: 'decide' should be past 'decided' to match 'I wanted' and 'I have been' (present perfect is OK, but sequence suggests past decision). 'Oversea' is incorrect; use 'overseas'. 'Find out some new vision' is awkward; 'find some new sights' or 'new experiences' is more natural.