Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar (plural/singular, articles), and give one specific supporting detail. Use linking words to make it coherent.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially when I arrive in a new place. For example, when I travel I often photograph city skylines or coastal sunsets to remember the atmosphere and share my experiences with friends.

提案: Reduce repetition and expand with specific details. Start with a clear sentence stating preference, then give two concise reasons using linking words and one concrete example.

例: I prefer rural views because the air is fresher and the surroundings are much quieter. For instance, I enjoy photographing mountain landscapes and rivers, where the natural light and reflections create calm, picturesque scenes.

提案: Avoid hesitation and repetition. Give a clear direct answer, then explain why with specific reasons or an example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas and finish the sentence properly.

例: I prefer views in my own country because I understand the culture and landscape better, so I can capture meaningful details. For example, when I photograph traditional villages I know which viewpoints show local architecture and daily life most effectively.

× Yes, I like I like taking picture of different views when especially when I arrived a new place for example, I go to, I go to the travel I arrived.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views, especially when I arrive at a new place, for example when I travel.

Errors: incorrect verb + -ing repetition and form ('I like I like taking picture' -> extra 'I like' and 'picture' should be plural with 'taking' used as a gerund), incorrect tense and preposition ('when I arrived a new place' should be present simple 'when I arrive' to match habitual action, and 'arrive at a place' uses preposition 'at'), and awkward phrasing ('I go to, I go to the travel I arrived' is unclear). Suggestion: remove the duplicated phrase, use the gerund 'taking' with plural 'pictures' for general likes, use present simple for habitual actions, and use 'arrive at' and concise clause 'for example when I travel.'

× I prefer a rural area because I think the rural area has fresh air and it is very peaceful.

✓ I prefer rural areas because I think the countryside has fresh air and is very peaceful.

Errors: article use and noun choice. 'A rural area' sounds like one specific area; for preferences in general use plural 'rural areas' or the uncountable 'the countryside'. Repeating 'the rural area' is redundant. Suggestion: use plural or 'the countryside' and simplify the second clause ('is' rather than 'it is').

× So I especially I like mountains and the rivers, so.

✓ I especially like mountains and rivers.

Errors: unnecessary repetition 'I especially I like' and redundant articles ('the rivers' unless referring to specific rivers). Also ending 'so' is unnecessary. Suggestion: remove duplication and use plural nouns without 'the' for general preference; keep concise sentence.

× I prefer Will's own own country, our country, our country because I I understand, I understand my my own country.

✓ I prefer my own country because I understand it well.

Errors: incorrect and repeated pronouns ('Will's own own country' is unclear and incorrect; repeated 'own' and 'our country' and 'I I' and 'my my' show disfluency), and missing object pronoun 'it' after 'understand'. Suggestion: use 'my own country' once, remove repetitions, and include the pronoun 'it' to refer back to 'country'.

× I think my own country is very beautiful and.

✓ I think my own country is very beautiful.

Errors: incomplete sentence ending with 'and' creates sentence fragment. Suggestion: remove trailing 'and' or complete the sentence with additional information (for example 'and has many attractions').