Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more fluent and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (umm, uh), correct vocabulary and grammar, and add one or two specific details using linking words. Keep it under 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, this spring I photographed the cherry blossoms in my garden because their color and shape were beautiful. I also take landscape photos when I travel, especially of mountains and city skylines, to remember the places I visit.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first (urban or rural), then explain with specific reasons using linking words. Use correct vocabulary (rural, urban) and grammatical sentences, avoid repetition and fillers.

例: I prefer rural views to urban ones. Although I live in a city with high-rise buildings and busy streets, I find it overwhelming; therefore I enjoy photos of quiet countryside scenes because they look peaceful and relaxing.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear reason with specific examples. Fix vocabulary (views, country) and avoid unclear comparisons. Use linking words (because, for example) to make your point coherent.

例: I prefer views in my own country because China is vast and offers diverse landscapes, from mountains to coastal areas. For example, I enjoy photographing the countryside and historic towns at home rather than similar scenes abroad because they feel more familiar and varied.

× Umm, recently, uh, spring is coming. Uh, there's some cherry Blues on me in my garden.

✓ Recently, spring has arrived. There are some cherry blossoms near me in my garden.

Errors: incorrect word choice 'cherry Blues' and awkward phrasing 'on me'. This is a vocabulary and sentence structure issue. Use the correct noun 'cherry blossoms' and the expression 'near me' or 'in my garden'. 'Spring has arrived' is a natural present perfect to indicate a recent seasonal change. Suggestion: Learn common collocations (cherry blossoms, near me, in my garden) and use present perfect for recent changes.

× So I, uh, recently I took some photo for them and uh, about how if I, when I was traveling, I like.

✓ So recently I took some photos of them, and when I travel I like to take photos.

Errors: 'took some photo' uses singular 'photo' instead of plural 'photos' (singular/plural issue), 'took' is fine but context prefers simple past for a recent action; 'for them' should be 'of them'; 'about how if I, when I was traveling, I like' is ungrammatical and unclear. Rephrase to 'when I travel I like to take photos'. Suggestion: Use correct preposition 'of', correct plural 'photos', and simplify the structure to express habitual action with present tense 'I like to...'.

× I prefer viral hours, young urban hours because I'm living in city.

✓ I prefer rural areas to urban areas because I live in the city.

Errors: 'viral hours, young urban hours' are incorrect words—should be 'rural areas' and 'urban areas'; 'I'm living in city' should be 'I live in the city'. Use simple present 'I live' for a permanent situation and include the definite article 'the' with 'city'. Suggestion: Review common pairs (rural/urban) and article use with 'city'.

× I say high rise buildings, uh, business to it and umm close every single day.

✓ I mean high-rise buildings, busy streets, and crowded shops every day.

Errors: 'I say' should be 'I mean' (word choice), 'business to it' intended 'busy streets' or 'business' wrongly used, 'close every single day' is unclear—likely 'crowded every day'. Suggestion: Choose correct adjectives ('high-rise', 'busy', 'crowded') and parallel structure when listing items.

× So I will. I thought it was a little bit overwhelming. So I really want to living in a a river areas because I think Ru rose. It's very, uh, quiet and peace.

✓ I thought it was a little overwhelming, so I really want to live in a rural area because I think rural areas are very quiet and peaceful.

Errors: Fragment 'So I will.' is incomplete (sentence without a verb/structure error). 'I really want to living' should be 'I really want to live' (verb + -ing misuse). 'a a river areas' should be 'a rural area' or 'rural areas' (singular/plural and wrong word). 'Ru rose' is nonsensical; use 'rural areas'. 'quiet and peace' should be 'quiet and peaceful' (adjective form). Suggestion: Use infinitive after 'want' ('to live'), correct vocabulary 'rural', and pair adjectives properly ('quiet and peaceful').

× I prefer wheels in my country, umm, cause umm, you know, China is huge and the population is very dense.

✓ I prefer views in my country because China is huge and the population is very dense.

Errors: 'wheels' is incorrect word for 'views' (vocabulary); keep 'views' plural. The rest of the sentence is okay but remove filler 'umm' and use 'because' rather than 'cause' in formal speech. Suggestion: Use accurate vocabulary and keep plural 'views' when discussing scenes.

× So uh, so when I umm, views in all the current fund, uh, YouTube fund the same in their channel.

✓ When I see views from other places on the same YouTube channels, they all look similar.

Errors: The original is largely unintelligible—missing verb ('see'), incorrect nouns ('current fund', 'YouTube fund'), and unclear pronoun references. Reconstruct sentence to express intended meaning: 'When I see views from other places on the same YouTube channels, they all look similar.' Suggestion: Ensure sentences have a clear subject and verb, use correct nouns ('YouTube channels'), and make pronoun references clear.

× So I prefer the views in my country.

✓ So I prefer the views in my country.

This sentence is grammatically correct. It uses the present simple 'prefer' appropriately to express a general preference. No change needed.