Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, fix word order and tense, and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also keep answers under five sentences.

例: Yes — I love photographing different views; it’s one of my main hobbies. For example, I run an Instagram page where I post landscapes and cityscapes. I usually plan short photo trips on weekends so I can capture scenes in the best light.

提案: Clarify and justify your preference with coherent reasoning and correct word choices. Avoid contradictions (urban views described as “natural” may be confusing) and use linking words to connect ideas. Keep it to 2–3 sentences maximum.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the variety of architecture and lively street scenes. For example, tall buildings, colorful markets and riverside promenades often offer more interesting details to photograph, which makes me feel energized.

提案: Answer directly with a topic sentence and give one specific reason plus an example. If you have no strong preference, say so and explain why. Keep grammar simple and avoid leaving the question unanswered.

例: I prefer views in other countries because they offer different cultures and landscapes I don’t see at home. For instance, I loved photographing coastal villages abroad where the architecture and light were completely different from my city.

× Yes, I love to take pictures of different views. I'm basically I have an Instagram page also where I post such photos. So it's kind of hobby for me. I usually go on a planned visits to take random photos.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. I basically have an Instagram page where I post these photos, so photography is a hobby for me. I usually go on planned visits to take spontaneous photos.

Multiple issues: incorrect sentence structure and redundancy ('I'm basically I have' is ungrammatical), wrong article and noun form ('a planned visits' mixes singular article with plural noun), awkward word choice ('random photos' better as 'spontaneous photos'), and style improvements. Suggestions: remove redundancy by using a single clause ('I basically have...'), use gerund 'taking' after 'love', use plural or singular consistently ('planned visits' without 'a'), and choose clearer adjectives ('spontaneous'). Ensure sentences are concise and maintain parallel structure.

× I prefer the urban views as they are more natural and more scenic and I love to see them and while looking at them I feel very refreshing.

✓ I prefer urban views because they are more natural and more scenic, and I enjoy looking at them; they make me feel very refreshed.

Issues: incorrect adjective/adverb use ('I feel very refreshing' uses an adjective that describes something causing refreshment rather than the person's state; correct is 'I feel refreshed' or 'I feel very refreshed' — past participle as adjective), unnecessary definite article ('the urban views' should be 'urban views' in general statements), run-on sentence and repetition. Suggestions: use 'because' for reason, remove unnecessary 'the' for general preferences, use 'refreshed' not 'refreshing' to describe personal feeling, and split or link clauses properly for clarity.