Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, add one or two specific supporting details, and use a linking phrase to connect ideas. Avoid redundancy (e.g. "somehow just normally") and filler words. Also vary vocabulary (use words like "scenery" or "landscape") and shorten to under five sentences.

例: Yes, I like photographing different views. For example, when I travel with family or friends I often take landscape photos of coastlines and city skylines, which helps me relax. Moreover, looking back at those photos calms me and reminds me of good memories.

提案: Provide a clearer topic sentence stating your preference, then give specific reasons and an example. Remove fillers like "umm" and correct grammar (e.g. "some people say"). Use linking words (e.g. "because", "for example"). Keep it to two or three concise sentences.

例: I prefer urban views because I enjoy the busy atmosphere and architectural variety. For example, I like photographing markets and modern buildings, which feel lively and interesting to me.

提案: Answer directly with a clear statement of preference, correct vocabulary and grammar ("country" not "contribute"), and give a specific reason or future plan. Avoid vague phrases like "some time, some chance"—be specific about when or how. Limit to two or three sentences.

例: I prefer the views in my own country because I haven't traveled abroad much and feel more familiar with local landscapes. However, I hope to visit other countries in the next few years to photograph different cultures and scenery.

× Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different scenarios, especially when I go on a trip with my family or friends because somehow just normally I'm so stressed about everything but when I just look at the pictures I took it makes me feel really relaxed and calm.

✓ Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different scenes, especially when I go on a trip with my family or friends, because normally I am very stressed about everything, but when I look at the pictures I took, they make me feel really relaxed and calm.

The sentence contains several present tense and word-choice issues. 'Scenarios' is awkward here; 'scenes' is more natural. 'Somehow just normally I'm so stressed' mixes adverbs and contractions incorrectly; use 'normally I am very stressed' for clarity. 'When I just look at the pictures I took it makes me feel' has a subject-verb agreement and clause punctuation issue: plural 'pictures' requires 'they make' rather than 'it makes', and a comma improves readability. Suggestion: simplify adverbs, keep consistent present simple or present perfect as context requires, and ensure subject-verb agreement for plural subjects.

× I'm personally likely to enjoy urban areas because umm, some people says that it's really noisy and complex, but I just feel I just like that atmosphere.

✓ I'm personally more likely to enjoy urban areas because some people say that they're really noisy and crowded, but I just like that atmosphere.

The original has a third-person singular error: 'some people says' should be 'some people say' (plural subject with base verb). 'Likely to enjoy' is awkward here; 'more likely to enjoy' is clearer. 'Complex' is not a typical description for noise; 'crowded' fits better. Remove redundant 'just' twice. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with plural subject and choose precise adjectives.

× Well, I like my own contribute since I've never been to other countries often, so if I have some time, some chance, then I wanna visit it someday.

✓ Well, I prefer my own country since I haven't often been to other countries, so if I have the time or the chance, I would like to visit them someday.

Several issues: 'my own contribute' is incorrect word choice and likely intends 'my own country' (pronoun/noun error). 'I've never been to other countries often' is ungrammatical and conflicting; 'I haven't often been to other countries' or 'I haven't been to other countries much' is correct. 'Visit it someday' incorrectly uses singular pronoun for plural 'countries'; use 'them' or rephrase to 'visit another country'. 'Wanna' is informal; 'would like to' fits spoken test formality and future-in-the-past nuance. Suggestion: use correct nouns, maintain pronoun agreement, use appropriate formal phrasing, and correct adverb placement for frequency.