Views— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. Focus on a single idea (what you enjoy and why) and give a specific example of a memorable shot.

例: Yes, I love photographing different views because each scene offers a new perspective. For example, I once climbed a hill to capture a sunrise over a valley, and the changing light and shadows made the photo feel very rewarding.

提案: Answer directly and give a clear preference or say you have no preference, then explain with one specific reason and example. Use linking words like 'however' or 'for example' correctly and avoid repeating phrases.

例: I don't have a strong preference; I value any place with an interesting view. However, I often prefer rural areas because their natural landscapes offer varied textures and light, for example, rice terraces that change color at sunset.

提案: Give a clear, complete sentence and avoid trailing off. State your stance (both/own/other), then justify with a distinct reason and a specific example comparing the Philippines and another country. Remove hesitations and finish thoughts fully.

例: I enjoy views both at home and abroad because each country has unique scenery. For instance, the Philippines offers dramatic coastlines and islands, while Japan provides carefully composed urban vistas and gardens, so I like photographing both types.

× Yes, I definitely do because taking different angles up with different views is like a fulfillment for me because it's so rare to capture those moments with my lens of the car, with the lens of my camera and oh.

✓ Yes, I definitely do because taking different angles of different views is fulfilling for me; it's rare to capture those moments with my camera lens.

The original uses awkward noun forms and prepositions: 'taking different angles up with different views' is ungrammatical. This fits 'Verb + -ing form' because 'taking' as a gerund is used, but the phrase after it is incorrect. Replace 'angles up with different views' with 'angles of different views' and use 'fulfilling' (adjective) rather than 'like a fulfillment'. Also remove redundant phrases ('with my lens of the car, with the lens of my camera and oh') and simplify to 'with my camera lens' for clarity and correct noun use.

× For me, I don't have a preference with the area.

✓ For me, I don't have a preference for the area.

Use 'preference for' rather than 'preference with'. 'Preference for' is the correct prepositional collocation in English when indicating what one prefers.

× So long that it's a good view, so be it.

✓ As long as it's a good view, so be it.

The idiom is 'as long as' meaning 'provided that'. 'So long that' is ungrammatical here. This is a sentence structure/idiom error; replace with the correct phrase 'As long as it's a good view'. Keep 'so be it' only if the speaker intends resignation; otherwise you can end the sentence at the clause.

× However, there are a lot of beautiful views in the rural areas in which you really you will really capture the environment.

✓ However, there are a lot of beautiful views in rural areas where you can really capture the environment.

Redundant 'you really you will really' and wrong use of 'in which' for location. Use 'where' to refer to places and 'can' for general ability in present tense. Also remove the article 'the' before 'rural areas' when speaking generally.

× I like both here in the Philippines, we have a lot of scenic areas that you can capture in other countries too.

✓ I like both. Here in the Philippines we have a lot of scenic areas, and other countries do too.

The original is a run-on and confusing. Split into two sentences and parallelize the ideas: 'Here in the Philippines we have...' and 'other countries do too.' This fixes structure and clarity.

× They have a lot of scenic areas that they could go for.

✓ They have a lot of scenic areas that people can visit.

Using 'they' twice is vague and awkward. Replace with 'people' to generalize and use 'visit' rather than 'go for' which is informal and less clear.

× So umm, for me, every country has its own uh.

✓ So, for me, every country has its own attractions.

The original trail-off 'its own uh' is incomplete. Complete the thought with a noun like 'attractions' or 'character' to convey meaning. This fixes sentence structure by providing a direct object.